McCovey Chronicles - Giants land three All-StarsWe want to continue to create opportunities for payroll flexibility.https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/community_logos/50879/mcc-fav.png2013-07-16T20:27:30-07:00http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/rss/stream/41829292013-07-16T20:27:30-07:002013-07-16T20:27:30-07:00A.L. defeats horde of non-Giants goofballs
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<figcaption>Mike Ehrmann</figcaption>
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<p>Giants chances for home-field advantage dashed. Hope you enjoyed David Wright and Yadier Molina's Sleepwalking Spectacular Presented By Ambien</p> <p>The items of interest to Giants fans in the 2013 MLB All-Star Game:</p>
<p> </p>
<ol>
<li>Posey had an at-bat and struck out</li>
<li>Bruce Bochy didn't do anything obviously silly. Heck, I'm not sure he was there</li>
</ol>
<p> </p>
<p>This concludes the items of interest to Giants fans in the 2013 MLB All-Star Game.</p>
<p>Though if you wanted to stretch it ...</p>
<p><b> 2. Jason Grilli pitched</b><br>Man, I was so disgusted when the Giants traded him for Livan Hernandez. Then he disappeared for a few years, wandering through Nepal with Ryan Vogelsong. Now he's an All-Star, throwing to Buster Posey.</p>
<p><b> 3. Joe Nathan pitched</b><br> But we're used to that now. Here's what Joe Nathan does in his spare time:</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2922777/crotchdrum.gif"></center>
<p><br><b>4. Clayton Kershaw grew up idolizing Will Clark </b><br>They mentioned it on the telecast, and I didn't believe it. The Wikipedia source was a dead end. Then someone tweeted <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2008/may/30/sports/sp-dodrep30" target="new">this article to me</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>When the prized 20-year-old left-hander takes the mound today at Shea Stadium to face the Mets, he'll do so wearing the number worn by his boyhood idol, former San Francisco and Texas first baseman Will Clark. The No. 22 jersey was given to him by pinch-hitting specialist Mark Sweeney, who agreed to take the No. 21 shirt that became free when Esteban Loaiza was designated for assignment last week.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This seems important. Game on the line, Kershaw in the mound, catches Will Clark's eye ... the Thrill gives him a wink. He knows what has to be done. I'd do anything for Will Clark, so I'm assuming Kershaw's right there with me.</p>
<p>At the very least, it's one more reason not to hate Kershaw. I just hope he goes 0-32 with a 1.39 ERA for the next 20 years. Oh, that would also create a sabermetric holy war. Everything would be great about that.</p>
<p><b> 5. Paul Goldschmidt hit a home run off Tim Lincecum</b><br>:(</p>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/7/16/4530542/2013-all-star-game-giantsGrant Brisbee2013-07-16T14:46:01-07:002013-07-16T14:46:01-07:00A belated appreciation of Sergio Romo, All-Star
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<figcaption>Thearon W. Henderson</figcaption>
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<p>Sorry if this breaks your computer, but your computer should have been upgraded to handle Sergio Romo in the first place.</p> <div style="visibility:hidden;height:0px"><p> </p></div>
<p>You know what's not hip? Hipster jokes. They're totally un-hip. Which is ironic. But not ironic in the strictest sense of the word! Just kind of funny. Unlike jokes about hipsters.</p>
<p>Great, now I'm dizzy. But the joke used to be that hipsters only like something until it gets popular. Once the rest of the world catches on, they lose a little interest. This comes up now because I haven't mentioned that Sergio Romo is an All-Star. Two years ago, that would have been the site's tagline. There probably would have been a six-post series. Now he's all successful, and it's like he's an afterthought.</p>
<p>I blame you, you awful Giants hipster.</p>
<p>/adjusts Milt May-signed, black-rimmed glasses</p>
<p>Another way that we know things are different is that there've been Sergio Romo trade rumors, and there hasn't even been a mini-riot. People in the comments said things like, "Hey, I could see that" or "Yeah, that makes sense," and they weren't verbally assaulted. A Romo-for-prospects trade might actually help the Giants. Would <i>probably</i> help the Giants. And no one really disputes that.</p>
<p>Things that might have contributed to the shift in perception:</p>
<p><b>1. He's chirpier and dancier since becoming a closer</b><br> He got the keys, and now he gets to do a little sky-pointin' and screamin'. It apparently rubs Puigs the wrong way.</p>
<p><b>2. He's getting into media spats</b><br> I don't really care about whom he talks to or doesn't, but some people get super-irritated about it. That hurts him in the Gallup polls, so to speak. And the shift is noticeable. He's not like chocolate, where only broken freaks don't like it. Now people can point to this, that, and the other to give reasons why they're tired of the guy.</p>
<p><b>3. He appeared in nine games in June</b><br> So while that other stuff was going on, we didn't get a chance to watch him embarrass hitters with a slider. The slider is like a well-crafted political ad, if we're going to stick with that metaphor. An absence of them colors our opinions.</p>
<p><b>4. Romo, like every closer, blows some games every now and again</b><br> And when they do, it's a big deal. It's less obvious when an eighth-inning guy does poorly.</p>
<p>Those are reasons why Romo might not be the cult hero he once was. And I'm here to share an important message: Cut it out. Take a moment and a deep breath, and let's all appreciate him again for the first time.</p>
<p>Sergio Romo has a magic slider that can strike out the side, then reverse the Earth's orbit, and take you back in time to the first hitter of the inning.:</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1117157/romo1.gif"><br><br><p><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1117158/romo-strikeout2.gif"></p>
<p><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1117163/romo3.gif"></p>
</center>
<p>Sergio Romo is still a goofy bastard, in the best sense of the word.</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1350200/romo-grin.gif">
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<p><br>A goofy, possibly malevolent bastard.</p>
<p>But Sergio Romo will sign your baby.</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1173049/romo-baby.gif"></center>
<p><br>Sergio Romo doesn't even care if cameras are flying RIGHT INTO HIS FACE.</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1143543/romowhoa.gif">
</center>
<p><br>He seems like a nice young man.</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1202308/romo-bike.gif">
</center>
<p><br>He won a, uh … you know, that tournament with the prize at the end … you know what I'm talking about … that tournament …</p>
<center><img width="600" src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1648775/ROMO-HUGE.gif"></center>
<p><br>And that allowed him to pick up on leggy cans of shaving cream.</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1651779/romo-shaving-cream.gif">
</center>
<p><br>In short, if you're not appreciating Sergio Romo, you're not paying attention or you're awful. Or a Dodgers fan. You ain't no Dodgers fan, is you? /spits</p>
<p>Sergio Romo is now an All-Star, too. It's a little anti-climactic, seeing as he's having his least dominant season in a few years. But that doesn't mean he still isn't one of the best relievers in baseball and a deserving All-Star. He was a 28th-round pick before he was a non-prospect. He was a non-prospect before he was 24 and doing amazing things in the Cal League, which he was too old for. And he was a back-of-the-bullpen option before he was a setup man. And he was the best setup man in baseball before he became one of the better closers in baseball.</p>
<p>He allowed a run last October, you know. For the entire month. He's pitching extremely well this year, too, but we're used to it. It's easy to take for granted.</p>
<p>So congratulations, Sergio Romo. And apologies for not mentioning it before. I've probably been overdoing it with the rah-rah stuff and the All-Star Game and the Giants, considering the team is pretty bad so far. But there probably isn't a way to overdo this one.</p>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/7/16/4529652/sergio-romo-all-star-giantsGrant Brisbee2013-07-15T15:36:34-07:002013-07-15T15:36:34-07:00The very brief history of the Giants and the Derby
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<figcaption>Jed Jacobsohn</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>It's hard to care when you put it like that. </p> <p>There is a Home Run Derby tonight. Then there is a Celebrity/Legends softball game. None of it is especially relevant to Giants fans. The closest thing the Giants have to a representative in either event is Darryl Strawberry, and even though he <a target="new" href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/MON/MON199407140.shtml">hit the only grand slam a Giants hitter ever had off Pedro Martinez</a>, he doesn't count.</p>
<p>In fact, it's been nine years since the Giants had an entrant in the Home Run Derby. A full list of Giants who have participated since 1985:</p>
<p>Barry Bonds (1993, '96*, '01, '02, '04)<br>Matt Williams (1990)<br>Kevin Mitchell (1989)</p>
<p>That's it. Should we care? Probably. Because it means that the Giants don't have any of them fancy home-run hitters. But when it comes to watching the silly thing, we probably shouldn't care about it because the Home Run Derby is objectively awful, even if I secretly like it. </p>
<p>(And I would pay money to watch Hunter Pence, to be honest.)</p>
<p>But let's see if there's someone to root for, a Giants-related diamond in the rough. Let's see if there's a player who can be interesting and/or relevant to Giants fans, starting with the National League.</p>
<p><b>David Wright</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants:</i> Matt Cain hit him in the head with a fastball once, and then started Doffgate by doffing his cap in response to Mets fans booing him off the field. Also, Wright sticks his tongue out a lot.</p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Michael Cuddyer</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants:</i> Still kind of shocked that he isn't on the Giants, to be honest. His low-defense, high-slugging ways would have made for a good Pat Burrell replacement. And by "good," I mean "bad." Except Cuddyer's good now. So maybe the Giants should have signed him. This is all so confusing.</p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Bryce Harper</b><br><i>Relationship to the GIants:</i> Nothing, really. He misplayed a ball into a Giants win earlier this year, and he really, really <a href="https://twitter.com/Bharper3407/statuses/316555796693524480" target="_blank">likes Pinterest</a>, which has a San Francisco office. </p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Pedro Alvarez</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants: </i>Nothing, really. When he slumps, he's like the player that people think Brandon Belt is. But when he's hot, he hits a ton of dingers.</p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Chris Davis</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants: </i>There used to be <a href="http://forums.rotoworld.com/index.php?showtopic=119897" target="_blank">Chris Davis for Matt Cain rumors</a>, don't forget. But that's about the only connection.</p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Prince Fielder</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants: </i>Looked bad in the 2012 World Series, which was a great help. Did the stupid bowling-pin Jesus thing after that home run, once. But that doesn't exactly make him an arch-nemesis. </p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Robinson Cano</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants: </i>Melky Cabrera seemed to like joking around with Cano last year. Other than that ... well, not much. The Rangers got to pick between Joaquin Arias and Cano to complete the Alex Rodriguez trade, and they picked Arias. That's a kind of connection. </p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p><b>Yoenis Cespedes</b><br><i>Relationship to the Giants: </i>He made a goofy catch against the Giants that one time. A's fans seem to like him.</p>
<p><i>Conclusion: </i>Eh. Don't care.</p>
<p>There aren't any Giants. There aren't any former Giants. and there aren't even Giants arch-villains to root against. My kingdom for a Hairston! Sorry, everyone. Even by Derby standards, this is pretty lame.</p>
<p>In conclusion, here is a picture from today of Bob Weir in front of Willie Mays's Hall of Fame plaque:</p>
<center> <a href="http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1709423/BPKV0HECMAAgS9o.jpg"><img src="http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1709423/BPKV0HECMAAgS9o_medium.jpg" class="photo" alt="Bpkv0hecmaags9o_medium"></a> </center>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/7/15/4526274/home-run-derby-giants-historyGrant Brisbee2013-07-08T09:01:53-07:002013-07-08T09:01:53-07:00Vote Pence
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<figcaption>Garrett Ellwood</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>He is not Puig.</p> <p>There are a lot of reasons to keep Yasiel Puig out of the All-Star game. Jealousy, spite, irrational homerism, unfettered rage, schadenfreude, bitterness. And these are all excellent, excellent reasons. They're irrational reasons. We're talking about something in which you get happy or sad when men in pajamas hit a ball with stick. It's <i>all</i> irrational.</p>
<p>In this irrational universe, I want to see two things:</p>
<p>1. More Hunter Pence<br> 2. Less Yasiel Puig</p>
<p>If you vote for Hunter Pence, you're voting for a slim chance that he'll accidentally bring a bat with him to the field. You're voting for a guy who throws a baseball like he has a bicycle chain running from his elbow to where his navel would be. You're voting for one of the more pleasantly surprising stories of the Giants' season, last two weeks excepted.</p>
<p>You're voting for this:</p>
<center>
<p><a href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2891743/Screen_Shot_2013-07-08_at_8.32.29_AM.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Screen_shot_2013-07-08_at_8" class="photo" src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2891743/Screen_Shot_2013-07-08_at_8.32.29_AM_medium.png"></a> <br><sub>Dennis Wierzbicki-US PRESSWIRE</sub></p>
</center>
<p>And this:</p>
<center> <img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1362325/pence.gif">
</center>
<p><br>If you're voting for Puig, you're voting for this:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><b>Joe Buck</b>: puuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig puig puiiiiiiiiiig drone drone puig puig drone drone puiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig</p>
<p><b>Tim McCarver</b>: In my opinion, what he doesn't do when he's approaching the warning track is as unimportant as what he didn't think to do when approaching the warning track, which makes him the most exciting player since Bobby Tolan, at least with regards to warning tracks, in my opinion.</p>
<p><b>Joe Buck</b>: /rolls around on floor, eyes in back of his head</p>
<p><b>Joe Buck</b>: puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig puig</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That's not an All-Star Game. An All-Star Game is when a bunch of Giants get elected and rough up Justin Verlander to win home-field advantage that actually helps them win the World Series. It's for established stars, not a showcase for newfangled bands like Angry Francoeur and the Pan-Flashes.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>Though it is kind of fun to watch Puig run around like a berserker out there. What's he going to do next? Probably bite an umpire. Maybe dig out a little area behind second base and pop out like a trap-door spider to scare a runner. Sky's the limit.</p>
<p>But that's rational. We're talking irrational, so nuts to the Dodgers and nuts to Puig. If he's really Jeff Francoeur, this will be his best shot at an All-Star Game. If he's really this good, we won't get a chance to keep him out of All-Star Games. Either way, it works out for us. Except for the part where he's one of baseball's best players for the next decade. That would be a less preferable option, if you had to pin me down.</p>
<p>And so far, the masses haven't rallied to Puig:</p>
<p> </p>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p>NL <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FinalVote&src=hash">#FinalVote</a> update 1. Freddie Freeman, ATL 2. Yasiel Puig, LA 3. Hunter Pence, SF 4. Ian Desmond, WSH 5. Adrian Gonzalez, LA</p>
— MLB (@MLB) <a href="https://twitter.com/MLB/statuses/354227915212328960">July 8, 2013</a>
</blockquote>
<p>
<script charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></p>
<p>I'd be okay with Freeman making it.</p>
<p> </p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1067657/freeman.gif"></center>
<p><br>No, no, thank <i>you</i>, Freddie. But, really, I'm voting for Pence. He's half-mascot, half spirt-animal. He's also on the Giants and he's not Yasiel Puig. </p>
<p>Vote Pence. Vote Pence or he'll stand over your bed at night and make clicking sounds. </p>
<h3 style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2013/fv/ballot.jsp" target="_blank">Vote Pence.</a></h3>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/7/8/4503826/vote-penceGrant Brisbee2013-07-06T16:07:45-07:002013-07-06T16:07:45-07:00Posey, Scutaro, Bumgarner named All-Stars
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<img alt="" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/_WUBR-WWyuFN7PMePe1y7JDvyDw=/1077x118:3999x2066/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/16013443/20121022_kkt_ax5_086.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Don't like it? Win the World Series, suckers.</p> <p>The San Francisco Giants had four out of the nine starting slots in last year's All-Star Game, but they were shut out in this year's voting, probably because you didn't try hard enough. The manager of the National League All-Star team happens to be Bruce Bochy, though, and he found room for Buster Posey, Marco Scutaro, and Madison Bumgarner.</p>
<p>Posey makes his second All-Star Game, though this will be the first time as a reserve. Both Scutaro and Bumgarner will appear in their first All-Star Game. Posey was the clear pick at catcher, but Scutaro beat out other deserving players, like Ryan Braun and Starling Marte, so there's probably gonna be some grumbling.</p>
<p>Bumgarner made it over pitchers like Mat Latos and ... really, all I care about is Latos. That's too bad, Mat Latos. :(</p>
<p>Also, we're all sorry you look like a thumb, Mat Latos. :(</p>
<p>Hunter Pence was one of the players listed on the "final vote" ballot, where he will be a sacrificial lamb to Yasiel Puig. Unless Giants fans stuff the online balloting. Which they don't really seem interested in this year. Maybe the thought of denying Puig a spot will motivate y'all. But there's a chance that he would run into the press box and collide with Joe Buck on a grounder to second, so I'm torn.</p>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/7/6/4499470/buster-posey-marco-scutaro-madison-bumgarner-all-star-selectionsGrant Brisbee2013-06-27T14:00:08-07:002013-06-27T14:00:08-07:00Vote Pablo Sandoval, not David Wright
<figure>
<img alt="On the left: a thick-eyebrowed simian with a creepy hat. On the right: Pablo Sandoval. " src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/rBYvAcqlHjhKqdJZ7adLMMwS9jI=/0x0:728x485/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/15452543/david-wright-pablo-sandoval.0_standard_730.0.0.png" />
<figcaption>On the left: a thick-eyebrowed simian with a creepy hat. On the right: Pablo Sandoval. | - Rich Schultz/Getty Images and Jamie Squire/Getty Images</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Over at Amazin' Avenue, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.amazinavenue.com/2013/6/23/4458074/2013-all-star-game-mets-voting-david-wright">Eric Simon has a post</a> about why David Wright should start the All-Star Game instead of Pablo Sandoval. You might remember Simon as one of the two people in the world to <a href="http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2009/7/27/965809/giants-acquire-ryan-garko-from" target="new">post an article here on McCovey Chronicles</a> without my knowledge. He did it because I was drinking in a bar with you people, but still. That kind of moral compass is why he does the things he does, and his scurrilous article is no exception.</p>
<p>A short recap:</p>
<p>1. Simon posted two GIFs, one of David Wright hugging a young fan, and one of Pablo tripping because of fat and cake and fat.</p>
<p>2. He then asked which player was better suited to represent his league in the All-Star Game.</p>
<p>Some Nixon-style deception, there. It merits a response.</p>
<p>See, I've been <a href="http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/6/21/4453212/marco-scutaro-all-star-game" target="_blank">thumping the Scutaro drum</a> because he's old and beloved. And great. He's never been an All-Star; he's never been especially close. The Mets dicked around with him because they're horrible, but he's made up for lost time with his subsequent organizations. And he should make the All-Star team, preferably as a start. But I didn't really care about Pablo Sandoval getting the start. He made it last year, and he's been hurt and erratic this year. I preferred to spend my energies on Scutaro.</p>
<p>But the more I think about AA's post, the more frustrated I get. After all the complaining last year, Sandoval got a huge, three-run triple against Justin Verlander in the All-Star Game that gave the Mets home-field advantage in the World Series*. Yet it's<i> Mets</i> fans who are mad at <i>Pablo</i>? There are 19 million people in the New York City metropolitan area -- 15 million more than the San Francisco Bay Area. There are about 800,000 people living in the city of San Francisco; New York City has 10 times as many residents. But Mets fans still complain about Giants fans stuffing ballot boxes. They have computers in New York.</p>
<p>I'm not above using images as a counter-argument, either. And this is who you're voting for when you vote for Pablo Sandoval:</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2668563/sandoval-split-screen.gif" class="photo"></center>
<p><br>He's one of baseball's more fascinating hitters, a guy who is as comfortable with pitches above his eyes as he is with pitches bouncing in front of the plate. He's compelling. He's a reason to watch baseball.</p>
<p>David Wright is a bread sandwich with the crusts cut off. His face is boring. His name is boring. It's a delicious,healthy bread sandwich, maybe with cucumbers and a yogurt spread. But still boring. He's a great hitter, but he makes you want to do your taxes, not watch more baseball.</p>
<p>Also, when you're voting for David Wright, this is who you're voting for:</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1094685/wrighttongue.png"></center>
<p><br>Enhance.</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1094686/wrighttongue2.png"></center>
<p>Enhance!</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1094684/wrighttongue3.png"></center>
<p><br>You don't want to watch that. No one wants to watch that.</p>
<p>By contrast, Pablo did this against the Tigers and noted tooth weasel Justin Verlander:</p>
<center><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1623867/sandoval-3.gif"></center>
<p><br>He hit two homers off the best pitcher in baseball, then hit another later in the game. You want to watch that. Everyone wants to watch that.</p>
<p>Real talk? Pablo Sandoval is challenging for a starting spot even though he doesn't deserve it, and some people think this is because Giants fans are stuffing the ballot box. I disagree. Hunter Pence deserves a spot more than Sandoval, and he can't crack the top five in outfield voting. Scutaro is having a better season than Brandon Phillips, but Phillips is in the lead. Buster Posey is the greatest living American, but even he slipped to second place. If there was stuffing going on, all of those Giants would be well ahead.</p>
<div class="pullquote">David Wright is basically Edgardo Alfonzo with an obnoxious tongue and thicker eyebrows. Mets fans are into that sort of thing, I guess.</div>
<p><br id="1372350646089">Which means Sandoval is getting support from outside the Giants circles. Regular fans, people trying to do the right thing, are choosing Sandoval as the third baseman they want to see. Because he's interesting. He's compelling. He's a star. They know him. Wright has the better numbers. Wright is almost certainly the better player.</p>
<p>But people want to see Sandoval.He's more compelling than Wright. The numbers suggest otherwise, and I'm partial to those shiny numbers. But I'm not going to waste of time using the results of a popularity contest to wonder why one player has more votes. Because he's more popular, you fools.</p>
<p>The other reason you should vote for Sandoval: because he plays for your favorite team, and it's fun to impose your will on others.</p>
<p>In conclusion, Edgardo Alfonzo is awful and David Wright is boring, and you should<a target="_blank" href="http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2013/ballot.jsp?tcid=ASG13_HP_MW"> vote for Pablo Sandoval</a>.</p>
<p><i><sub>* In an alternate universe where women keep their newborn babies in kangaroo-like flesh pouches, cars drive people to work, and Ryan Theriot is a legitimately good DH option.</sub></i></p>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/6/27/4468498/pablo-sandoval-david-wright-all-star-votingGrant Brisbee2013-06-24T08:32:21-07:002013-06-24T08:32:21-07:00Giants lose ground in All-Star voting
<figure>
<img alt="Cool choice, America. Guess you didn't get the memo that this time it counts or whatever - Photo credit" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/Qwc9xQhPYkxbEz0m8PdpIAvB3pc=/1967x638:3149x1426/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/15292889/169819905.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Cool choice, America. Guess you didn't get the memo that this time it counts or whatever - Photo credit | Dilip Vishwanat</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Posey, Sandoval slip to second place</p> <p>I felt a great disturbance in the All-Star voting, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and suddenly said, "Eh, screw it" at once. The last All-Star voting update had Buster Posey and Pablo Sandoval with slim leads at their respective positions, and Marco Scutaro close to Brandon Phillips. A new update was released on Sunday, and the news was discouraging.</p>
<p>Posey's in second place, as is Sandoval. Scutaro isn't any closer to Phillips, and Brandon Crawford has no chance to catch a broken Troy Tulowitzki. While you might think Crawford would start anyway (Bochy!), note that Jean Segura leads the league in hits. Even Bruce Bochy wouldn't be able to ignore him. A year after the Giants had four-ninths of the starting lineup for the National League, there's a very real chance that they aren't going to have a starter in the 2013 All-Star Game.</p>
<p>Which is about the 4,922nd-biggest problem facing the Giants right now. But it's real to me, dammit. And courtesy of "contest" "winner" <a href="https://twitter.com/natt0">Natto</a>, we have a reminder:</p>
<center><img src="http://i763.photobucket.com/albums/xx276/mccimages/players/votescoots_zps1ffaa387.jpg"></center>
<p><br>Vote Scutaro, you ingrates. Go <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2013/ballot.jsp?tcid=ASG13_News_Stack">here</a> and vote. What's your e-mail address? Give me your e-mail address and password and I'll do it for you.</p>
<p>The complete totals from <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130623&content_id=51343038&vkey=news_mlb&c_id=mlb" target="new">MLB.com</a>:</p>
<p> </p>
<blockquote>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><b>NATIONAL LEAGUE ALL-STAR VOTING</b><br>(as of June 23)</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>FIRST BASE</strong><br>Joey Votto, Reds 2,677,813<br>Paul Goldschmidt, Diamondbacks 2,270,886<br>Allen Craig, Cardinals 1,801,138<br>Brandon Belt, Giants 1,323,511<br>Freddie Freeman, Braves 1,181,657</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>SECOND BASE</strong><br>Brandon Phillips, Reds 2,597,742<br>Marco Scutaro, Giants 2,272,484<br>Matt Carpenter, Cardinals 2,251,248<br>Chase Utley, Phillies 1,136,890<br>Daniel Murphy, Mets 1,088,224</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>SHORTSTOP</strong><br>Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies 3,104,285<br>Brandon Crawford, Giants 1,757,255<br>Jean Segura, Brewers 1,625,753<br>Pete Kozma, Cardinals 1,354,974<br>Andrelton Simmons, Braves 965,016</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>THIRD BASE</strong><br>David Wright, Mets 2,917,819<br>Pablo Sandoval, Giants 2,788,988<br>David Freese, Cardinals 1,728,322<br>Chris Johnson, Braves 1,008,552<br>Aramis Ramirez, Brewers 881,559</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>CATCHER</strong><br>Yadier Molina, Cardinals 3,596,858<br>Buster Posey, Giants 3,506,402<br>John Buck, Mets 1,087,519<br>Jonathan Lucroy, Brewers 845,519<br>Miguel Montero, Diamondbacks 799,837</p>
<p style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.3em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;"><strong>OUTFIELD</strong><br>Carlos Beltran, Cardinals 3,473,030<br>Justin Upton, Braves 2,453,531<br>Bryce Harper, Nationals 2,363,965<br>Carlos Gonzalez, Rockies 2,060,388<br>Ryan Braun, Brewers 2,010,310<br>Matt Holliday, Cardinals 1,947,864<br>Andrew McCutchen, Pirates 1,777,568<br>Hunter Pence, Giants 1,732,843<br>Shin-Soo Choo, Reds 1,566,597<br>Angel Pagan, Giants 1,541,055<br>Carlos Gomez, Brewers 1,393,464<br>Jon Jay, Cardinals 1,321,149<br>Gregor Blanco, Giants 1,210,892<br>Domonic Brown, Phillies 1,107,632<br>Jay Bruce, Reds 978,994</p>
</blockquote>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/6/24/4459334/giants-all-star-voting-update-posey-sandoval-vote-scutaroGrant Brisbee2013-06-21T14:24:14-07:002013-06-21T14:24:14-07:00Vote Scutaro
<figure>
<img alt="" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/STU6CpcXEXC4pOKqYICtnMk827w=/0x1411:2666x3188/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/15185251/20121022_kkt_ax5_114.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>Because the "Do This For Me Because I Lack the Talent" Contest just didn't sing, dang it.</p> <p>I want Buster Posey to win the All-Star voting. I want him to finish with the most votes, and for Yadier Molina to finish with the second-most votes. And I want Molina to sulk when Posey moves to first base in the All-Star Game so Hector Sanchez can catch. Also, I want Hector Sanchez to make the All-Star team as the first piece of evidence that Bruce Bochy is slowly going insane with power.</p>
<p>But I'd trade it all in for Marco Scutaro to get a starting spot. <a target="new" href="http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130616&content_id=50808016&vkey=news_sf&c_id=sf">He's close</a>, just 300,000 behind Brandon Phillips, who is having a boring year. Their stats in comparison:</p>
<p><b>Average</b><br> Phillips: .272<br> Scutaro: .333</p>
<p><b>OBP</b><br> Phillips: .324<br> Scutaro: .390</p>
<p><b>SLG</b><br> Phillips: .428<br> Scutaro: .440</p>
<p><b>Times done this: <a target="_blank" href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1606429/scoots.gif"><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1606429/scoots.gif" class="photo" alt="Scoots_medium"></a> </b><br> Phillips: 0<br> Scutaro: 1</p>
<p>You can see how Scutaro has the clear advantage in every category. More than that, Scutaro has been a fan favorite wherever he's gone, a plucky, hardy fellow who didn't make it out of the minors until he was in his late 20s. Try watching <a target="_blank" href="http://www.aplayertobenamedlater.com/">this documentary </a>without pulling for the guy. Now imagine that story having an All-Star start tacked on to the end. </p>
<p>There are just under two weeks of voting left. That's a gap Giants fans can make up. I've been reading <a target="_blank" href="http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/51048436/">writers I respect</a> talk about how Giants fans stuff the ballot. Pretty sure if the Giants fans were stuffing the ballot this year, Posey would be up by several hundred thousand. The Giants are getting the kind of votes you'd expect from a contending team that draws well. Which is what they are. I'm not sure why the vote totals are still surprising people. Last year's were out of control; this year's are pretty normal. </p>
<p>I humbly request that they go back out of control, if possible. But only for Scutaro. At least, he's the only one I really care about. I'm pretty sure Posey doesn't need our help, but Scutaro does. </p>
<p>And I need your help. Because I just spent the last hour looking at and trying to mimic <a target="_blank" href="http://www.crestock.com/blog/photoshop/design-tutorial-creating-a-propaganda-poster-153.aspx">this</a>, and I'm too stupid to be looking at and trying to mimic things like that. It's a how-to guide on making propaganda posters, and I can't do it. I wanted to take this ...</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a target="_blank" href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2821053/scutaro.jpg"><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2821053/scutaro_medium.jpg" class="photo" alt="Scutaro_medium"></a></p>
<p>... and make a propaganda poster out of it. After over an hour, I gave up and put Comic Sans on it. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a target="_blank" href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2821061/Screen_Shot_2013-06-21_at_1.45.10_PM.png"><img src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2821061/Screen_Shot_2013-06-21_at_1.45.10_PM_medium.png" class="photo" alt="Screen_shot_2013-06-21_at_1"></a></p>
<p>Because screw Photoshop, that's why.</p>
<p>I just want something that I can append to an upcoming series of Vote Marco Scutaro posts, as well as something that I'll tweet out every five seconds until I lose half my followers. It could be that Comic Sansy up there takes it. It's funny because Comic is right in the title!</p>
<p>So if anyone out there has an inkling of artistic/design talent, and if you happen to be killing time on a Friday, pretending to work for the next two or three hours, maybe you can help. It's the Marco Scutaro Propaganda Poster Contest, in which the winner gets ... satisfaction? Like, the satisfaction of helping Scutaro to the All-Star Game? Seems pretty satisfying. Also, there can be multiple winners. Winners of nothing in particular. If we can flood the Internet with Scutaroganda, all the better.</p>
<p>His finger was malleted, but he has risen. He is Marco Scutaro. If people are mumbling about ballot-stuffing now, I'd like to see what everyone's saying when Scutaro wins the overall voting by 7,000,000,000,000 votes. That's the kind of influence I'm pretty sure I have. </p>
<p>Also: <a target="_blank" href="http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2013/ballot.jsp?tcid=ASG13_HP_MW">Vote. Now. Twenty-five times. </a></p>
https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2013/6/21/4453212/marco-scutaro-all-star-gameGrant Brisbee