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Weekend BP: Hey, look at us all here

Still going.

Shohei Ohtani holding his dog.

Hey there, howdy, hiya San Francisco Giants fans.

What a week it’s been, huh? After a quite Thursday full of manufactured momentum, Friday was a verifiable poop show (I didn’t want to swear, but really doesn’t work without the alliteration, does it? Maybe crap circus? Poo party? Poop performance? Dookie display? I dunno, work with me, it’s been a looooooong day).

I woke up to a report that Shohei Ohtani was likely to sign on Friday. Eventually the famed airline trackers found numerous private flights from Orange County to the Bay Area. But more scarily, a flight from Orange County to Toronto.

That led to a report that Ohtani was signing with the Toronto Blue Jays, and it would be announced that evening. That report was then refuted by many reports that he hadn’t made his mind up. What followed was a report that while he hadn’t made his mind up, he was en route to Toronto to meet with the Blue Jays. Which, naturally, was refuted by multiple reports that he was still at home in Southern California, as we learned the private jet headed to Toronto was actually one of the Shark Tank dudes.

It was a worthy and arguably superior sequel to Arson Judge, and we even got the apology that we never got last year.

It was one of the funniest days in baseball history, and if it ends up with Ohtani signing with the Giants, it will be a day that I will remember fondly for the rest of my life. Truly.

In the meantime, trust Jeff Passan and Jeff Passon only.