Giants get all their balloons popped in LA

Let me present you with a list of the fi... hold up, sorry, I jumped the gun here. The San Francisco Giants lost to the Los Angeles Dodgers 9-1 on Wednesday night. There’s what you came for. There’s the pertinent info. There’s the search engine stuff that will get this article some clicks.

OK, where was I? Oh, right...

Let me present you with a list of the first Giants batter in each inning:

First inning

The batter: Joc Pederson

The outcome: Strikeout

What happened next: He went back to the dugout, because that’s what you do when you strike out. The Giants failed to get a hit in the inning.

Second inning

The batter: Brandon Crawford

The outcome: Home run. Yay!

What happened next: He went back to the dugout, because that’s what you do when you hit a home run. The Giants failed to get another hit.

Third inning

The batter: Luis González

The outcome: Single

What happened next: He stole second base, took third base on a popout, and was stranded there when the Giants failed to get a hit.

Fourth inning

The batter: Darin Ruf

The outcome: Walk

What happened next: He was out at second base on a fielder’s choice by Brandon Crawford, who was stranded at first base when the Giants failed to get a hit.

Fifth inning

The batter: Kevin Padlo

The outcome: Single

What happened next: He advanced to second base on a ground out, and was stranded there when the Giants failed to get a hit.

Sixth inning

The batter: Wilmer Flores

The outcome: Infield single

What happened next: He was stranded there when the Giants failed to get a hit.

Seventh inning

The batter: Mike Yastrzemski

The outcome: Bunt single

What happened next: He was out at second base on a double play. The Giants failed to get another hit.

Eighth inning

The batter: Joey Bart

The outcome: Walk

What happened next: He was out at second base on a double play. The Giants failed to get another hit.

Ninth inning

The batter: Darin Ruf

The outcome: Single

What happened next: He took second base on catcher’s indifference. The Giants failed to get another hit.

So yeah. The Giants got the leadoff hitter on base eight times. They got a hit, walk, hit batter, or error exactly zero times from their other 24 hitters.

Four of those eight made it to second base. Two of those eight made it to third base. One of those eight made it to home base. And that was the one who had the good sense to do it himself and just hit a ball over the fence.

Say, that sounds like a highlight. Let’s watch it.

Well at least there’s that to smile about. And if you want a second thing to smile about (you greedy punk, you), if the Giants had to get swept by the Dodgers, they might as well have made it happen in a two-game series.

So bravo for getting your butts kicked in the least harmful way, chaps.

For the second day in a row, the Giants looked like an offense in need of some additional talent. And while I noted yesterday that they won’t be getting much of that against left-handed pitchers, they will be getting it against righties, such as Tony Gonsolin, the Dodgers starter.

Brandon Belt will be back, soon. LaMonte Wade Jr. will be back, soon. Tommy La Stella will be back, hopefully soon. And Mike Yastrzemski returned for this game, but looked like someone who hadn’t played a game in 10 days, so let’s just say that he’ll be back, soon, too.

It wasn’t quite as ugly of a game as the 9-1 score would suggest. Alex Wood was quite competitive, striking out seven batters in 5.1 innings, and giving up just six baserunners, albeit for three runs. Mauricio Llovera wasn’t great, but kept the Giants in it by only allowing a run in an inning of work.

The wheels didn’t fall off until the Giants admitted that they were willing for them to fall off. And then they fell off. They waved the white flag and the Dodgers mistook it for a checkered flag and started racing home.

Sammy Long gave up a trio of runs in a third of an inning. Tyler Beede gave up a pair of runs in 1.1 innings. Those are not players the Giants would have been pitching if they were trying to win the game, so if it helps you feel better about the lopsided loss, just pretend they used John Brebbia and José Álvarez and lost 4-1.

Feel better? No?

Me neither.