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Giants once again win a Coors Fieldy game at Coors Field against the team from Coors Field

I’m sensing a theme.

Tommy La Stella touching home after homering Photo by C. Morgan Engel/Getty Images

The San Francisco Giants did a funny and cool thing against the Colorado Rockies, and it was the type of funny and cool thing that you can only do at Coors Field, which is a place that breeds funniness and coolness, except for when it’s breeding annoyance and aggravation.

They led off the first and second innings with four-bag hits that could not have been any less similar had they tried.

The first one came on the second pitch of the day. It was Tommy La Stella, the guy a lot of Giants fans didn’t seem to want mucking up a rather lovely roster.

It went far. Very far. Hilariously far, honestly.

It was La Stella’s second plate appearance of the season, and it was the eighth-longest home run in the Majors this year.

Yes, it came at Coors Field, but again: second plate appearance of the year, and not exactly a guy known for eating cans of spinach and flexing his biceps.

And then Brandon Crawford led off the second inning with a four-bagger of his own, but it was very different.

It looked like a double off of the bat, and it looked like a double as it skipped off of the wall and into the glove of Charlie Blackmon.

But the Giants have been an elite team this year at taking additional bases, and Crawford hustled his bustle to try and squeeze a triple out of a ripe, juicy double, and in doing so induced the type of throw I believe I might be able to make if given the chance.

Which is to say, one that went into the dugout, thus allowing Crawford to trot home at the pace of his choosing.

A Little League home run or, as the scorekeepers call it, a triple and an error.

And just like that, Coors Field was off and Coors Fielding.

The Rockies would get one back in the bottom half of the second, because Coors Field. And then the Giants would break things open in the third inning, because, again, Coors Field.

It was again at the expense of poor Brendan Rodgers, the error-prone second baseman responsible for Crawford’s leisurely jaunt home an inning prior. He kicked off the third by ... uhh ... kicking a Brandon Belt grounder, allowing another leadoff runner.

Then, in a span of six batters, Wilmer Flores doubled, Mike Yastrzemski doubled, Darin Ruf singled, Crawford singled, Thairo Estrada singled, and the Giants scored four runs.

They led 6-1, until they decided it would be cooler to lead 8-1 (wise choice), and so Ruf banged a double high off the wall an inning later to accomplish that goal.

It wasn’t the dingerfest that Denver sometimes invites, but it was a doublefest. You get a double! You get a double! Everyone gets a double!

Yaz had two of them, and don’t look now, but he’s having an exceptional season. Actually, you know what? Do look now. You deserve nice things. Yaz hitting 3-4 with two doubles and a walk to raise his wRC+ to 135 is a nice thing. Let’s savor it.

La Stella also had two of them, one of which looked to be home run No. 2 until it rudely clanged off the top of the wall instead. 3-5 with a homer, two doubles, and a walk is a pretty nice reintroduction, Tommy. Thanks for reminding us that you, in the immortal words of Duane Kuiper, can hit.

The Rockies added a run in feeble retaliation, but the Giants answered the door, saw said run, procured two of their own, and slammed the door shut. It was 10-2 in the middle of the sixth.

And then something unforgivable happened. Something so dark and terrible that I’m not sure I should speak of it. But I’m a capital-J Journalist, so I have a duty here. I have a code to uphold.

It was at this moment, in between the top and the bottom of the sixth inning, that I did the one thing no writer should ever do when a chunk of a Coors Field game remains. I wrote a headline. Here it is.

Screenshot of the headline, “Giants hit like they’re at Coors Field, pitch like they’re not”

A few minutes later and Alex Cobb had surrendered five additional runs, Gabe Kapler was trotting to the mound a wee bit too late (by his own admission), and we had ourselves a game.

And that was the end of the scoring. The Giants relievers held the line the entire way, as did their Colorado counterparts.

John Brebbia finished off the inning cleanly. Tyler Rogers entered a day after a disaster outing and tossed eight of nine pitches in the strike zone for a quick and clean inning. Dominic Leone shook off Monday’s dinger for a crisp eighth inning.

And Camilo Doval got two outs and then did the sensible thing, walking a pair of batters to set up maximum drama so his teammate, Austin Slater, could have his moment in the sun grass.

And that’s the story of how the Giants won 10-7.