In the fourth inning of the San Francisco Giants game against the Colorado Rockies, Johnny Cueto threw the greatest pitch of his life. For a brief moment it looked like a lifetime of shimmying and shaking on the mound had finally caught up to him, and that he was going to dramatically fall to the ground like a Storm Trooper in the middle of a pitch.
And then he caught himself and recorded an out.
Every part of this is ridiculous including the fact Johnny Cueto threw a great pitch pic.twitter.com/tuJXwUynGd— Kerry Crowley (@KO_Crowley) August 4, 2020
Here’s an incomplete list of what Cueto looked like while throwing that pitch:
- A dog when it goes to pee on a fire hydrant and, right as it starts, sees a better fire hydrant.
- The super casual move a drunk person does when they try to pee on a bush and then notice that some people can actually see him.
- A person trying to do the Old Town Road dance for the first time.
- You doing that special dance move you do after a holiday meal when your belt is pinching your gut and you have to find some unconventional way to adjust your pants because they don’t fit but the normal way of adjusting them doesn’t work because you just ate three meals in the span of about eight minutes and oh god why did you think that was a good idea.
- Your friend when they’re drunk and in their own world and, when you ask them what they’re doing they look mildly surprised before taking ten seconds to answer, “I don’t know.”
Johnny Cueto, everyone.