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Hypothetical recap: Oh no, don’t play like that!

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Well, that’s not how you’re supposed to do it.

Division Series - Washington Nationals v San Francisco Giants - Game Four Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

With the MLB season suspended due to the coronavirus outbreak, there are no baseball games and limited baseball news. So I’m creating a hypothetical season — complete with news and recaps — until baseball resumes. All news and recaps will have the hypothetical tag, so you can at least know when you’re suspending reality. And you can click “hypothetical season” above the headline to see everything that has happened in this “season.”

Would you like some good news? I bet you’d like some good news.

People always like good news, but they especially like it when facing the not-good news of the San Francisco Giants losing 13-1 to the Los Angeles Dodgers, which is one of the worst fates that can befell a team and its fans.

So here’s the good news. It could have been Julio Urias instead of David Price.

Price is good, and on Saturday he was even great. But he’s 34, on the decline, and owed almost $100 million over the next three seasons.

Urias, on the other hand, is 23, still getting better, and cost controlled for a very, very long time.

He’s going to feast on the Giants many times over the next decade or so, and that should scare Giants fans. Had he done so on Saturday, it would have been that painful reminder that the team that has thrown Clayton Kershaw at the Giants a few times every year for the last 12 years is now going to do the same with Urias and Walker Buehler. Great. Just great.

Instead, Urias started the season on the injury list, and Price started today’s game. His pseudo-dominance, while far from fun, was less depressing for Giants fans than if it had been Urias. Instead of portending a dark future, it was just a bad game. A really, really bad game.

The tiniest of silver linings, I know. I’m grasping here. Forgive me. I just wanted something optimistic to latch onto.

Because nothing about this game inspired optimism. Kevin Gausman, whom the Giants signed with the hope of having him pitch well enough that they could flip him at the deadline, got rocked. He gave up six earned runs in 3.2 innings, including a pair of home runs.

Tyson Ross, who could potentially be in the running for the fifth starter spot (and ideally also trade bait) if he pitches well, did not pitch well in relieving Gausman. He went 2.1 innings, and gave up four earned runs.

The offense mustered all of five hits, with a double by Hunter Pence serving as the only extra-base knock of the game. Price and the Dodgers bullpen combined to strikeout the Giants on 13 different occasions, which is a pretty big number.

To make matters even worse, on a beautiful Saturday in San Francisco, in just the second home game of the year, attendance was mediocre.

It was a bad day, and the Giants are now 3-5.