Hypothetical recap: A Saturday stinker!

With the MLB season suspended due to the coronavirus outbreak, there are no baseball games and limited baseball news. So I’m creating a hypothetical season — complete with news and recaps — until baseball resumes. All news and recaps will have the hypothetical tag, so you can at least know when you’re suspending reality. And you can click “hypothetical season” above the headline to see everything that has happened in this “season.”

On Friday, the San Francisco Giants beat the San Diego Padres 6-1. The Giants number one starter, Johnny Cueto, was matched up against the Padres number four starter, Zach Davies, and all went according to plan.

After the game, I issued a warning to the optimistic faithful:

The number one pitched much better than the number four, and all was right in the baseball world for a few hours.

Maybe don’t check back tomorrow when the Giants number two takes on the Padres number five. These things have a way of overcorrecting themselves.

Damn. Sometimes I’m so good at this it almost feels like I’m controlling the outcomes.

Indeed, you’d be better off not reading these words. Better off not checking back tomorrow, which happens to be today.

The Giants number two starter (Jeff Samardzija) could not follow in Cueto’s footsteps. The Padres number five starter (Joey Lucchesi) avoided the booby traps that Davies fell into.

It very well may be that at this point in their respective careers, Lucchesi is a better pitcher than Samardzija. No one would be particularly shocked if that were the case.

What would be shocking is if he were that much better, though, but on Saturday he most definitely was. I could give you a detailed play-by-play and breakdown, but I can promise you you have better things to do with your Saturday. I can even promise you you have more fun things to do with your Saturday, like that grout cleaning you’ve been procrastinating.

So I’ll just give you their stat lines:

Samardzija: 5.0 innings, 10 hits, 1 walk, 7 strikeouts, 5 earned runs, 2 home runs.

Lucchesi: 7.0 innings, 5 hits, 2 walks, 7 strikeouts, 2 earned runs, 1 home run.

Put that in your stand mixer and turn it on, and it spits out a 6-2 final score in favor of the Padres, in which you managed to feel pessimistic about the Giants chances tomorrow and about their chances of trading Samardzija for Wander Franco at the deadline.

So it goes.

Some worthy notes from a game that wasn’t noteworthy:

• Buster Posey dinger! Sure, it’s a little easier in San Diego than in San Francisco, but Posey is showing off a little power again, which is a welcome, welcome sign.
• Wilmer Flores had a two-hit game. They were both singles, but we’ll take it.
• Trevor Oaks pitched two perfect innings in relief, and struck out five batters. Excellent.
• The Giants are now 6-9. Nice.
• This is the fourth straight year that the Giants have had a record of 6-9 after 15 games. Nice.