Jim and Pam.
Ross and Rachel.
Jon Snow and his aunt.
A red-hot outfielder and the bottom of the NL West barrel San Francisco Giants.
There are a few “will they” or “won’t they” storylines that will go down in history. While the latter might be a direct toss up for fans’ warranted frustration, it still completes the quixotic pattern, especially if the Giants continue on the path that they’re on. And what path does that happen to be? Well, their season start can be roughly compared to what you would find at the bottom of an adult diaper after “gas station sushi night” at your local nursing home.
On Wednesday, the Giants nabbed the series away from the Los Angeles Dodgers thanks to a Buster Posey walk-off; which managed to make people momentarily forget the insanely bloody beat-down the Dodgers offense did to them the previous night. That happened to be the same night when someone else continued to impress a watching, if not slightly supercilious, audience.
Mac Williamson put on a performance with two home runs and his first stolen base of the season with the Sacramento River Cats as they faced off against the Albuquerque Isotopes on Tuesday.
One that the Giants appeared to Birdbox yet again.
Williamson’s numbers are attractive enough for him to get called up. He’s batting .379/.417/.697 and has six home runs and three doubles this season. So someone should tell us why the Giants won’t close the deal and simply, oh, I don’t know, pull the trigger on this extremely desirable relationship.
To put it casually? Mac is the hot girl that the Giants don’t see because she’s wearing glasses, a pony tail, and paint covered overalls.
They don’t have the numbers to be picky right now, especially when it comes to their struggling outfield – particularly in the corner. Sure, they brought in help from the trade market with Kevin Pillar (Toronto Blue Jays) and Tyler Austin (Minnesota Twins) but what’s the hold up with their own in-house 28-year-old? When he was called up last April, Williamson went for 6-for-19 with three homers in five games before a concussion cut his season short.
Right now, the kid is white hot, yet you have to wonder if Giants’ executive Farhan Zaidi – who was the one who designated Williamson for assignment a month ago - has a personal vendetta against him (did he spoil the end of Avengers: Endgame for you, Farhan? This is a safe space – you can tell us.)
Look, here’s the thing – walk-offs are a hoot. Walk-offs by Posey are a even bigger hoot, but fans would rather have a rectal exam performed by a blind pirate with a hook for a hand in the middle of a rusty needle factory than see another offensive free-freakin-fall like the one on Tuesday against the Dodgers.
It’s time, Giants. It’s time you smack yourself clear across the face and see that Williamson is actually the hottie you’ve been looking to take to the senior ball and that the tension between you two is overwhelming and WILDLY noticeable.
Just get it on, already.