During Wednesday night’s game in Scottsdale, after he came out of the game, Brandon Belt was interviewed by Amy Gutierrez, and he dropped a bombshell:
If you can’t watch the video, or if you’re such a loyal reader that you just don’t want to navigate away from McCovey Chronicles, then the gist is that Belt thought he’d try out the eyebrow guard on his nose hair trimmer. It went fine on his left side, but when the eyebrow looked a little thin, he decided to even it out on his right side, and disaster ensued. Worst of all, it was just before Photo Day, so the fractured brow was in every one of Belt’s official photos this year.
The question is, just how bad was this accident? Fortunately, we can put it in its historical context by comparing Belt’s 2019 eyebrows with his full, lush eyebrows from years past.
Here, for example, is one photo of Brandon Belt from 2017:
Look at that right eyebrow. Observe it in its full splendor. It has not yet suffered through a 98-loss season. It has not yet suffered the concussion that will end its 2017 season. It has spent two fewer years listening to KNBR callers criticize it for dumb, garbage reasons. It is content. It is whole.
Here is Brandon Belt from Photo Day this year, in 2019:
Oh. Oh yes. That is one fractured eyebrow. That is an eyebrow that has seen the world. That eyebrow has veteran savvy, and knows how to play the game. Younger eyebrows respect that eyebrow, and will look up to it, and listen to its advice. It is an eyebrow with character, not some Johnny-brow-lately that is today’s flash in the pan, and tomorrow’s forgotten relic.
Belt’s estimate was that he shaved off half his eyebrow, and that is clearly inaccurate. At most, it was a third of his eyebrow, and judging by his (merely trimmed) left eyebrow, by hair volume, it was really more of a quarter of his eyebrow. Still, by any measure, it is a significant percentage of his eyebrow, and once you know to look for it, the gap is unmistakable.
The real question here is, how did we all miss this? This site and its fanbase are very dedicated to Brandon Belt, and yet we missed it. It is my sad duty to report that this fault falls more on me than on anyone else; I wrote about the lessons we learned from Photo Day, and yet I missed Belt’s right eyebrow pull. I did not look closely enough at the photos of Belt, and I apologize for that. This is, on the whole, a pro-Belt crowd, and I should be poring over every detail for relevant minutae to share with you. I earnestly and wholeheartedly apologize for my lapse, and hope we can move forward from here.
However, I also encourage you, the McCovey Chronicles reader, to let us know if you come across any oddities like this. If you’ll allow me to coin a phrase here: If you see something, say something. We want to hear from you about any goofy Giants-related shenanigans, especially when they involve Brandon Belt.
In conclusion, Brandon Belt accidentally shaved off part of his eyebrow and we got almost 600 words of content about it. Everyone’s a winner, except for Brandon Belt’s eyebrow.