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Today is the fourth game of spring training, and Bryce Harper still has not signed with a team. (At least not as of the time I am writing this). So I would like to just take a moment to politely ask Mr. Harper to PLEASE, PLEASE, JUST MAKE A DECISION ALREADY! FOR THE LOVE OF MAYS!
I can’t keep living this way! I wake up four times a night to check my phone, Bryan hasn’t eaten in a week, Doug is just sitting in the corner shouting obscenities, Reuben is planning a revolution (so that’s actually kind of normal), Kenny is developing an eye twitch and Brady has actually changed his Twitter avatar to a photo that doesn’t resemble a rising star on the CW network.
We can’t do this anymore, Bryce. Please, please make up your mind soon. You are collectively breaking the baseball writers of America!
Also, you know, it would be preferable if you did not sign with the Dodgers. Oh, god - I don’t want to live in a world where you play for the Dodgers.
It’s cruel that the Giants have to be one of the teams in the mix when we all know that it isn’t going to happen. It’s unfair and wrong. But I would forgive it, so long as he doesn’t end up in Los Angeles.
Anywho, the spring training games started this weekend and Bryan talked about that here. This is always the hardest time of the year because the excitement of pitchers and catchers reporting has worn off, and technically baseball is being played, and maybe some people can even watch it, but for those of us with day jobs, it’s pretty tough.
And for those of us with a personal vendetta against day games, well, this is the worst month. But we persevere, because soon enough real lineups and normal start times will be here!
And, finally, because this is all kind of a baseball ramble and I may have a fever and a feeling like I needed something to rekindle my love of the game, enjoy this video that you’ve all seen before, one that popped up on my YouTube feed, apropos of nothing. A reminder of just how amazingly ridiculous and unexpected baseball can be at its best moments. (And a reminder of just how much the tech industry knows about us on an algorithmic level.)