The Giants are going to finish at .500

The San Francisco Giants have 33 games remaining. Earlier today, Bryan McCovey Chronicled how the team may go 23-10, or perhaps even 33-0, and win back all of our hearts.

Sorry, Bryan - that ain’t happening.

Some fans hope the team will actively strive for losses in the pursuit of the next Gary Brown. They wish for something like, say, 8-25. That’s the dream, they say.

Sorry, tank commanders - that ain’t happening.

The Giants will go 18-15 over the final stretch of the year. That will give them a delectable pairing of 81 wins and 81 losses. A .500 record.

How can I be so sure? Let’s look at all the times they were .500 this year, shall we?

0-0
2-2
3-3
4-4
5-5
6-6
14-14
15-15
19-19
21-21
22-22
24-24
30-30
31-31
32-32
33-33
38-38
39-39
52-52
54-54
56-56
57-57
60-60
61-61

Of the 64 chances that the Giants have had to be .500, they’ve done so 23 times. They’ve spent 36% of their .500 opportunities at exactly .500. The only way this could be more impressive is if they spent 50% of such opportunities at .500. They’ve only had eight times all year when they’ve been four or more games away from .500. They just can’t leave .500 alone. They’re too attached.

This team is a .500 team. A passionately .500 team. An exhaustingly .500 team.

Get you someone who loves you the way the Giants love being .500.

.500 is perhaps disappointing, considering that they opened the year projected to contend for a playoff spot. Or .500 is perhaps inspiring, considering that they’re going to get about one season combined out of their top three starters, while having serious injuries to three infielders.

Either way, it’s going to be .500. It was always going to be .500.