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An ode to D.J. LeMahieu

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Nolan Arenado envies the Giants despite always beating them. D.J. LeMahieu does not. He only cares about hurting them. It’s time to honor him for that.

MLB: San Francisco Giants at Colorado Rockies Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

Three days ago, Nolan Arenado said this:

“I want to win a division so we actually play a series. I see the Dodgers, and the guys over there, and they’ve won this division the last five years. I know some of the Giants’ players. They’ve got their World Series rings.

“I’m jealous.’’

Rockies second baseman, D.J. LeMahieu, meanwhile, has never said a kind word about the Giants, preferring to demolish their pitching (118 hits in 99 games against them) and do stuff like this... and this:

Leading to comments like this:

So, rather than kick rocks and pout, let’s honor this god among men who’s shown just how puny the Giants really are.


O D.J. LeMahieu! You could have let
Joe Panik’s grounder through!
Instead, thou chose to show
those who did not know
thou range was true!
When Brandon Belt did barrel his ball,
you were there to catch it reaching
heights only birds had flew.

The Cubs did leave you in their wake,
but as payback you now rake;
Cool’d a long age a mile above earth,
contact has become your siren song;
WHACK! SMACK! CRACK!
Abusing pitchers with such mirth!

Where will you go when your contract expires?
Will Brian Sabean kick your tires?
Would you take your perfect bat to the AL?
Or dost thou recognize that not playing the Giants
19 times a year
will harm your chances of winning
a batting title?

I cannot always see what batters will have a Giant feat,
Nor what problems such feats my pose,
But, as it comes to you upon each season, I always tweet,
“Here comes D.J. LeMahieu — OH NOES!”
For the Giants will never retire your bat that’s so sweet,
And as I have made peace with that, so it goes.