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Prop betting on the Giants

Now that the Supreme Court has ruled sports gambling to be super duper legal, let’s start generating some shoo-in prop bets that the dumber casinos aren’t yet wise to.

San Diego Padres v San Francisco Giants Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images

First, and most importantly, I don’t know anything about gambling. I suggest an event that could happen that’s outside of the normal “who wins / who loses” setup and wager on it. The house sets the odds that determines the amount, and I either make back that money or I have to come out of retirement to do one last job to pay back the debt.

Now that the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of legalized sports gambling and really leaned into the idea that we’re a country run by the mafia, I figured we should generate some prop bets to place at our soon to be corner casinos and Yahoo! Sports betting page.

Since every single one of you on this site is an expert on the Giants, that should give you a leg up on these prop bets. The house doesn’t know this team like we do. Oh, and again, because I don’t know anything about gambling, I can’t put any odds on these bets. You are welcome to do so in the comments below, but I think there’s a very good chance no one will ever read this article.

Pitching prop bets

  • Madison Bumgarner and Johnny Cueto will be the only starters to end the season with an ERA+ over 100.
  • Johnny Cueto has at least four hats with his image on them. For reference:
  • Mark Melancon will save 11 games this season.
  • Mark Melancon will talk about “playing the game the right way” (regardless of context) 2 more times this season.
  • Movie star Will Smith will do something notable that we can use when making jokes about reliever Will Smith.
  • Cory Gearrin remains on the roster for the entire season.
  • Pablo Sandoval pitches at least 1 more inning in relief.
  • Andrew Suarez pitches more innings than Derek Holland this season.
  • Derek Holland pitches more innings than Madison Bumgarner this season.
  • Tony Watson will be traded at the deadline this season.
  • Tony Watson will be named the closer at some point this season.
  • Dereck Rodriguez will cut his hair more than 3 inches.
  • Dereck Rodriguez will explain why he has a large tattoo of Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman on a national TV broadcast. For reference:
  • Someone will no-hit the Dodgers in Dodger Stadium.
  • Andrew Suarez’s first major league hit will be a triple.

Batting & defense prop bets

  • No Giant will hit at least 20 home runs.
  • The Giants will strike out 20 times in one game.
  • The Giants will finish 20 games better than last season.
  • No Giant will steal at least 20 bases.
  • Evan Longoria will have the most RBIs this season.
  • Pablo Sandoval will have a higher OPS+ than Buster Posey by season’s end.
  • Pablo Sandoval will catch at least 1 inning.
  • Gorkys Hernandez will finish the season with the 3rd-most home runs on the team.
  • Brandon Belt will slump his shoulders at least 8 more times this season.
  • Brandon Crawford will cut his hair at least 6 inches.
  • Nick Hundley will bat 2nd in a starting lineup this season.
  • Hunter Pence will play an infield position for an inning this season.
  • Austin Jackson will be a starter for two weeks in August this season.
  • Steven Duggar will not have a plate appearance this season.
  • Mac Williamson won’t hit another home run this season.
  • Mac Williamson won’t return to the roster until September of this season.
  • Mac Williamson will finish the season with the 3rd-most home runs on the team.
  • Gorkys Hernandez will try to rob a home run at AT&T Park and land on the garden netting.
  • Jeff Samardzija will hit more home runs than Madison Bumgarner this season.
  • Madison Bumgarner will pinch hit at least 2 times this season.
  • Johnny Cueto will pinch hit at least once this season.
  • Alen Hanson will lead the team in triples and stolen bases this season.

Team prop bets

  • The Rockies will sweep the Giants in a Spilborghsian fashion.
  • The Giants will keep pitching to Paul Goldschmidt.
  • Manny Machado as a Dodger will make a run-saving defensive play and have a walk-off hit in the same game against the Giants this season.
  • Dave Flemming will miss at least one team bus to either an airport or hotel this season.
  • Jon Miller will broadcast full-time for three more years, then shift into the Lon Simmons “weekends only” position.
  • The Barry Bonds statue will only be a 60% likeness of Barry Bonds.
  • The Barry Bonds statue will only be an 80% likeness of Barry Bonds.
  • Grant Brisbee will be a part of the coverage for the Bonds jersey number retirement ceremony.
  • They will have to apologize for something Hunter Strickland did at least one more time.
  • Bruce Bochy will say “numbers don’t tell the whole story” 3 times this season.
  • Hensley Meulens will manage a game this season and do something that makes us think, “He should be the manager!”
  • Someone on the 25-man roster will acquire a new pet this season.