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Brandon Belt winds up on DL after appendectomy; Alen Hanson called up

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Get well soon, Brandon Belt.

MLB: San Francisco Giants at Colorado Rockies Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

By now you’ve seen the news that Brandon Belt had an emergency appendectomy last night. Here’s visual evidence of a surgery:

I’ve probably had four hundred stomach aches in my entire life and ever since one of my dearest friends had to have her appendix taken out when we were in first grade I have always had a fear of appendicitis in the back of mind. What exactly is appendicitis, you might wonder? Per Google:

Hold on. What’s going on here? This is the standard image that comes up when searching the term “appendicitis”. It’s hilarious.

Hi. Lar. I. Ous.

Tell me you thought the same as me and that looked like Bryan Cranston was clutching a teddy bear. Right?

Anyway, not much is known about the appendix itself. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “supplementary material at the end of a book, article, document, or other text, usually of an explanatory, statistical, or bibliographic nature.” Popular culture, too, has barely managed to define its ostensibly vestigial function.

It’s a very good thing that Brandon Belt’s situation was caught early enough to avoid a rupture and we all wish him a safe and speedy recover. I was tempted to simply make this a post that would serve as a “Get Well Soon, Brandon Belt!” e-card, but let’s at least take a moment to consider the implications of Brandon Belt’s latest bit of bad luck.

Yes, Uranus is where all sorts of weird stuff happens. It’s a messy business when the stars align with Uranus, and a really big load of bad luck where Brandon Belt is concerned. I’ve written before about Mac Williamson’s misfortunes, but this will be the 9th time Belt has been placed on the disabled list in his career (I’m counting the time he was transferred from the 10-day DL to the 60-day DL as two separate moves). That’s astonishing and unfortunate and it just plain stinks.

Of course, Brandon Belt’s irrefutable good luck comes with being born with a body that makes him a great baseball player and the good fortune of developing his skills enough to be drafted and more good luck to make it onto a major league roster and then perform to a level where he will make enough money to never have to work again after his career. He is, at the same time, putting his body on the line every time he goes out there, and as bad as getting concussions and broken bones from baseballs is, those injuries are more or less known risks of the job.

Any geek off the street can get appendicitis, and when they go down, it’s serious, too, but the people who count on them is usually limited to family and maybe some people at work because only that person with the appendicitis knows the status of all the open accounts — because, let’s say, that person didn’t leave detailed notes or an “In Case I Get Hit By A Bus” file — anyway, I digress.

Brandon Belt is the best hitter on the Giants. His health is more important than the success of the Giants. He will be gone for as long as a month, perhaps (recovery plus the length of a rehab assignment), and the Giants will just have to continue to suffer at less than full strength as they have all season. He was having an All-Star season, as he’s had before, and his great runs have usually coincided with a long DL stint. Somehow, luck found a way to make it so one more season, and as always, we patiently and hopefully await his return.

Alen Hanson is back up, meaning that Pablo Sandoval is no longer the sole backup middle infielder. Thing is, he was still pretty early in his rehab assignment, and as much as his torrid start was unlikely to last, there’s a distinct possibility that we’re about to witness some major injury-induced negative regression.

But back to Belt: I’d like to think he’s the best kind of person for this sort of luck, because he seems like he’ll be able to take it all in stride to the extent that he won’t let it get him down. He just seems like the type to shrug and say, “That’s how it goes sometimes”, and then focus on the moment in front of him. The baseball season is chaotic enough without emergency surgery, but Belt is one of the best players in the league to weather the storm.

Get well soon, you big goofball.