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Giants kick off Memorial Day weekend with a boring loss

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The Cubs won 6-2. This is my surprised face.

San Francisco Giants v Chicago Cubs Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Did you expect the San Francisco Giants to lose this game? I did.

Did it still hurt to spend two and a half hours watching it unfold, with intimacy and slow-played inevitability befitting a horror film? Absolutely.

In other words, it was basically A Quiet Place, with Joe Maddon featured as the monsters, Wrigley Field the dystopian New York countryside, and Brandon Belt as John Krasinski, because they’re both tall, goofy, but very handsome bearded men.

Apologies, I’m getting off track here. It’s just that there was pretty much nothing interesting in this game.


Derek Holland pitched fairly well, and as Duane Kuiper and Jeremy Affeldt bid us all good day, they mentioned that Holland can build on this performance, and carry it into his next start.

Which . . . okay. I may be the conductor of the optimism train, but I feel like we all know who Holland is at this point. His good start makes me feel better in the sense that it was both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing to watch the Giants not get shellacked for six innings, and their bullpen is not a barren wasteland of worn arms heading into Saturday’s game.

But does it make me feel better in the sense that I have any more confidence about him next week than I did yesterday?

Nah.


Bruce Bochy let Holland try his hand at the seventh inning. And while that’s been a massive mistake that the manager keeps repeating, I’m not sure it was this time. Holland was pitching very well, the bullpen has not been particularly reliable, and yes, I’m mostly deciding this in hindsight, because as soon as Bochy motioned to the bullpen, the runs started pouring in like liquor did into my mouth after watching last night’s Warriors game.

Correlation does not equal causation, except when I’m writing a game recap and need a narrative. So the skipper gets a pass.


Before the game, the community lamented Gorkys Hernandez, leadoff hitter. Then he had half of the Giants hits, including a strong home run. He now has as many dingers as Andrew McCutchen and Buster Posey. Combined.

So, we were correct in determining that Hernandez should not be batting leadoff. Clearly, he should be batting cleanup.


Mac Williamson returned, and with it the news that he’ll be the everyday left fielder. Those are both great things, as was his first inning outfield assist, which nabbed the runner by a good ten feet. No one else on the team makes that play.

Welcome back, Mac.


The larger point of the game was that it kicked off Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day is a holiday that many people spend with family members they don’t particularly enjoy, visiting places they don’t particularly want to be, simply because our society has determined that it’s a holiday, so no one really has an excuse, but it’s still short enough to make commitments with the part of the family you otherwise avoid.

And that was the Giants game. I bet you didn’t really want to spend the middle of your day watching that. And I bet you don’t really want to be spending even more time reading my gobbledygook about it, yet here you are, gentle reader.

May your (hopefully long) weekend only get better from here. May the Giants lose 5-2 tomorrow, instead of 6-2, and may your brother-in-law with the bad haircut not pester you about how he thinks Brandon Belt strikes out too much.