What will you do if the Giants are unwatchable again?

I’d like to think that all the moves the Giants will do this offseason will be the spark that lights the fire that propels this team into a September playoff race, regardless of how that race works out for them, but being who I am, it’s hard to fathom that the Giants will improve from a 64-win team to an 80-something win team in a single offseason with a roster that’s largely the same as last year’s.

We’re in a new year and that’s usually the time for optimism, but what this article supposes is... what if it’s not time for optimism?

What if Evan Longoria is not enough? What if Will Smith’s return and a healthy season of Mark Melancon and a lower leverage all-purpose Sam Dyson and a traded Hunter Strickland does not improve the bullpen overall? What if Madison Bumgarner spends time on the DL this year because of what actually happened on the mound? What if Johnny Cueto’s blisters return with a vengeance? What if Brandon Belt again spends the same amount of time on the DL that he does every year? What if Buster Posey strikes out to end, like, the 8th game of the season and then dissolves into the ether?

All of these things are likely. The terrible awfulness of last season felt like it caught most of us by surprise. But we’re stronger now. Tougher. Our expectations are nonexistent. Skins thickened. We didn’t know how to respond then, but we sure do now. Let’s kick off 2018 with those most pragmatic of conversations:

What will you do in place of caring about the Giants should 2018 shake out like 2017? I have some suggestions.

Catch up on those streaming shows you’ve heard so much about.

I could make a list of all the shows I think you should watch, but feel free to post in the comments shows you think others might enjoy, too. If you don’t have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, CBS All Access, etc. etc., there’s always your local libraries, which more and more have big and interesting DVD collections.

Volunteer your time to charitable organizations.

California’s homeless population will continue to grow as housing becomes less affordable and wages evaporate, so there’s always a shelter or food kitchen that needs a helping hand. But there are so many other causes — animal shelters spring to mind — that always need help, and maybe it would feel better to help other people if the Giants are beyond help.

Start a weight training, yoga, or equivalent health maintenance program.

40-60 minutes of physical exercise will give you a stronger endorphin hit than a Giants win and, for the most part, exercise is something you can do without an MLB.tv subscription or even a regular season. About 4 years ago I was really overweight and after starting a weight training program and adjusting my diet it got sorted out. One of the things that helped was that I could do cardio work on a treadmill and listen to Giants games on the radio. Now, I’m aware that there plenty of people have other health issues that make conventional forms of exercise impossible and dieting extremely difficult, so, if you have experience working around wonky knees and other medical issues to improve health, please feel free to share with the rest of us.

Set writing and/or reading goals and try to follow through on them.

Been meaning to write that short story or novel or maybe finally tackle that screenplay idea you’ve had? “Being a writer is like having homework for the rest of your life”, says screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan, and he’s absolutely right. But in the face of 3+ hours of painful Giants-viewing, I think creative writing for 2-3 hours every night during a baseball season is a breeze. Oh sure, there will be setbacks, mistakes, rejection, and abject failure, but at least you’re not paying good money and time to watch other people do that -- you’re doing it yourself, and learning from the process,

And if you’ve been meaning to catch up on your reading, well, I think falling asleep to a good book every night beats falling asleep to thoughts of a 6-run 7th inning meltdown 3 times a week.

Go to more games.

HELLO. THIS ITEM WAS DEFINITELY NOT MANDATED BY SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS ASSOCIATES NOR ANY PERSON OR ALGORITHM ASSOCIATED WITH THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS ORGANIZATION. BUT SERIOUSLY, IT IS WELL KNOWN BY YOU HUMANOIDS THAT VIEWING BASEBALL COMPETITIONS IN A REAL BASEBALL STADIUM IS PREFERABLE TO WATCHING THEM IN THE WARMTH, COMFORT, AND CONVENIENCE OF ONE’S OWN DWELLING.

It’s possible that the only way to enjoy the Giants for the next 3-7 years (not all rebuilds go quickly!) is to watch other teams beat the crap out of them live and in their beautiful home stadium.

Never stop watching Giants Outsiders starring Grant Brisbee & Therese Vinal.

I mean, this should go without saying, but I’m saying it anyway.

And if any of you have suggestions for the group about what to do in place of watching a 90-loss team, throw out your own ideas in the comments below.