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You can buy a shirt celebrating Giants Players Weekend nicknames

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They picked some of the better ones, which is nice.

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Philadelphia Phillies v San Francisco Giants Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images

If you’ll remember, some Giants players are taking the opportunity to put nicknames on the back of their jerseys for Players Weekend, which is an opportunity for MLB to sell more merchandise a fun chance for players to show off their personalities. Or lack thereof. I ranked the Giants’ nicknames here, if you’re interested.

With that in mind, the good folks at BreakingT are selling some shirts to commemorate the occasion, using the popular Helvetica-and-ampersand style. The shirts look like this:

You can buy the shirts here. And those nicknames would be, in order:

  1. Hunter Pence (his nickname means “Hunters” in Swahili)
  2. Madison Bumgarner (this is a “shortening” of his proper name, and the hyphen still makes me mad)
  3. Albert Suarez (it means “Hunter,” and is a nod to his dad who went by the nickname)
  4. Ty Blach (it’s just a really cool nickname, is all)
  5. Mark Melancon (an homage to the gentle art of trolling)
  6. Austin Slater (a hip, current Saved by the Bell reference)

Is it a coincidence that those were my top six names in my ranking? Probably not! I didn’t come up with the shirt, but I’m happy that they didn’t go with B-Craw or Cricky.

Now, while you might laugh about the permanence of these shirts, which celebrate a weekend we won’t remember in a month, I’ll argue that’s exactly why it’s a shirt worth having. It’s like those Turn Ahead The Clock shirts from 1999 ...

Getty

... except they won’t make your eyes bleed. They’re a fixed point in a sillier time, and if you like explaining your shirts to everyone you meet, buddy, you should get six of them.

My main interest in this is to make money because I like money, but there’s something about an Albert Suarez/Austin Slater/Madison Bumgarner combo shirt that appeals to me. It tickles the same lobe of my brain that makes me look for Melky Cabrera and Carlos Beltran shirseys on eBay in 2017.

So buy some shirts. The holidays are around the corner, and there’s nothing you’ll like better than explaining each nickname in great detail. I’m enjoying the thought of you trying, for instance.