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Giants... >win??< 5-4 in extra innings

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The Giants have won 5 of their last 22 games against the Padres.

San Diego Padres v San Francisco Giants
When you score a run and you finally know the feeling of what it’s like to hit against yourself.
Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images

I mean... holy crap. The Giants won that game. They’re not supposed to do that. They’re awful and bad and dumb and useless and pathetic and embarrassing and over the hill and talentless and past their primes and urinal troughs and the fifth season of The West Wing and unwatchable and bad and not major league-worthy and garbage and bad.

And yet, they won. They actually beat the San Diego Padres, a team that’s Wil Myers and bad and Cory Spangenberg and dumb and Hunter Renfroe and what the hell. And they did it behind Matt Moore (!) and a competent bullpen (!). Sure, Matt Moore had an inning where he was

but, really, four earned runs allowed is like a gift from heaven. If you don’t believe in heaven, then, it’s like... a... highly unlikely outcome occurring. Or, like seeing Big Foot or a formal declaration of war by Congress. It’s hardly worth talking about how guys looked, in particular the pitchers and how the ball moved when they were on the mound, but only because the 2017 Giants aren’t worthy of such thoughtful consideration. Every last one of them is a laughingstock every single time they put on the uniform. That’s their curse for the year. Matt Moore surrendered a triple to Luis Perdomo, the starting pitcher. I don’t even know how many pitchers in Padres history have hit a triple, but I do know that that was Perdomo’s third triple of this season, which would make him one of the leading candidates to play left field were he on the Giants.

It’s good to head into a Saturday night with a rare Giants win in the ol’ bloodstream.


Jon Miller is a Hall of Fame broadcaster who’s seen some truly terrible seasons of Major League Baseball, and this is definitely one of the worst he’s ever been paid to talk about every day for six and a half months, so I don’t say this lightly: he’s the greatest.

In the first inning of today’s radio broadcast, he and Dave Flemming talked about whether or not a hot dog was a sandwich, which is a familiar discussion for most of us here on the internet, but it was the second where the gold he was spinning turned into... what’s better than gold?

In the second inning, he had to read a promo for tomorrow’s giveaway for the first 20,000 fans: a bucket hat. He had literally nothing to say about the giveaway — indeed, it doesn’t seem to represent anything important; I haven’t lived in the Bay Area in nearly 15 years, so maybe it’s my fault if I’m missing their significance — so his setup for it was [and I am probably paraphrasing or making up some stuff to fill in the gaps of my memory here], “Hey Dave, you ever hear of this thing called a bucket list? You know... as you get older and there are certain things you want to do that you haven’t done, so you make a list.” And then Dave Flemming kept feeding Miller: “Oh, you mean like a list for when you kick the bucket?” Jon: “Yeah, that’s it. That’s an old term. Kick the bucket. But yeah, see the Grand Canyon, go skydiving, that sort of thing. Anyway, tomorrow, for the first 20,000 fans, the Giants are giving away a bucket hat.”

I proceeded to laugh for the next five minutes as he and Dave went back and forth about how a bucket hat is way down on someone’s bucket list. There are better things to do. But also that the bucket list as an idea was the only way Jon could think to get into the promo about the bucket hat.

My point is: the radio broadcasts really do improve the experience. Unless you see the games in person, the KNBR broadcast is the only way to survive the next few years of literally unwatchable Giants baseball. Thank you, Jon Miller.


The Giants won today but in spite of Buster Posey, Brandon Crawford, and Brandon Belt. Posey struck out as a pinch hitter against a left-handed reliever with a runner on base in the bottom of the ninth. Brandon Crawford struck out with Hunter Pence at third base in the bottom of the tenth. Brandon Belt was 1-for-6 and it feels like he hasn’t made hard contact in two months.

And then there’s Hunter Pence, whom Andrew Baggarly has decided to make the focus of his ire lately...

Look, it’s both fair and unfair to single out one guy on a terrible team in a disastrous season for an organization with a bleak future, but it’s unavoidable. It’s fair because a journalist could write articles about everyone on the 25-man roster and how bad he is and how detrimental to the team he’s been all season, and it’s unfair because simpletons will hook into the idea that one or a few dudes are wholly responsible for the collapse. Me? I come not to bury Hunter Pence, but only to point this out:

The Giants won the game in the bottom of the 12th inning after Nick Hundley singled in pinch-runner Kelby Tomlinson who was at second base only because of a wild pitch. They could have won the game 6-4 via a walk-off home run were Hunter Pence able to do some damage with an absolute mistake pitch.

Look at that. Pence is ready to mash the heck out of this pitch.

But then it looks like he activates his swing too late, and his comically weird legs and arms are in no position to drive that ball. He’s about to get underneath it and foul it off.

And sure enough, fouled off. At least he kept his eye on the ball through the swing.

Alas, we’ve seen Hunter Pence in this situation for this entire season. He’s missed so many pitches. He’s only going to miss more. He’s not the reason the Giants are done, but he’s one of the reasons why.


Welcome back, Albert Suarez. Two good innings today. Hunter Strickland had a nice bounce back after last night’s debacle and Josh Osich looked really good, winning the latest round of “Who’s Better? Osich or Okert”. Okert will be out of competition for a while as he tries to put the pieces back together down in the minors. A solid effort today from the Giants’ bullpen. Not something I get to say often while watching this team.


Also, there was some stuff before today’s game regarding Old Friend Pablo Sandoval. He’s back, you know, and already putting his foot in his mouth. He had to correct a statement he made about Giants he had missed (apparently, only Bochy and Pence) to make it clear he liked and missed all the Giants. He also had his Red Sox bag in the clubhouse.

I’m quite good at cutting people out of my life, and Pablo Sandoval was definitely one of those people. He’s back now, and until proven otherwise, I’ll view the move as nothing more than a cynical cash grab by the San Francisco Giants Baseball Club LLC. Which means I don’t have to think of him until such time as he plays in an actual game. When that happens, I will be very disappointed and say so.

I also despise nostalgia. I get that people love it, even seek it out either because it’s fun or soothing, and I’m not against it for people who bathe in nostalgia for self-care, but in professional sports, let’s at least admit that it’s very, very silly to bring back an older player coming off of several bad seasons just because he was once good on some of your best recent teams. Why does the nostalgia high need to go beyond the Blu-rays and special event days/presentations when we can just relive the actual good ol’ days rather than keep trotting out the carcasses of those who helped make them?


You know what? The Giants won today so let me leave it at that. The Giants are the ones who need to work out their issues. Not you and me.