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Justin Ruggiano fails to inspire Giants to victory

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Everyone is terrible and there is no respite. Happy birthday, Mr. Mays!

MLB: San Francisco Giants at Cincinnati Reds
Kelby Tomlinson, seen here taking part in a metaphor
David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

Some of you cowardly plebeians might have given up when Billy Hamilton scored the first run against Ty Blach today, but I, seasoned observer that I am, waited for the Reds’ second run, an Adam Duvall homer one out later, to become utterly certain that the Giants would lose. My confidence did not wane when the Giants loaded the bases with on one out in the next inning after an absurd Patrick Kivlehan error, nor when they tied the game. And it was entirely justified when Kelby Tomlinson started out the bottom of the second by committing an error, eventually leading to two more Reds runs, which came in on a two out Billy Hamilton double.

In the third inning, the Giants didn’t score and the Reds scored six times, and then the Reds kept scoring runs and the Giants didn’t, and the Giants lost.


This is 100% true, I promise. Take a look at that first paragraph. Here’s when I wrote each part of that paragraph:

Some of you cowardly plebeians might have given up when Billy Hamilton scored the first run against Ty Blach today, but I, seasoned observer that I am, waited for the Reds’ second run, an Adam Duvall homer one out later, to become utterly certain that the Giants would lose.

Bottom of the first inning

My confidence did not wane when the Giants loaded the bases with on one out in the next inning after an absurd Patrick Kivlehan error,

Top of the second inning, before the runs scored

nor when they tied the game.

Top of the second inning, after the runs scored

And it was entirely justified when Kelby Tomlinson started out the bottom of the second by committing an error, eventually leading to

Bottom of the second inning, before the runs scored

two more Reds runs, which came in on a two out Billy Hamilton double.

Bottom of the second inning, after the runs scored

At no point did I ever need to edit the paragraph, other than to (1) correct the spelling of “plebeians,” in which I initially omitted the second E, (2) replace “eventually culminating in” with “eventually leading to” because I realized after the fact that culminating is an inappropriate word to use in the second inning, and (3) correct the spelling of Ty Blach’s last name, which I accidentally wrote as “Black.”

The Giants aren’t just bad right now; they’re predictably bad. Watching them fail isn’t just boring; it’s routine. You don’t see them score two runs — two miraculous runs, if we’re being honest about how incredibly rare it is for a major leaguer to make the error that Kivlehan did — and think, “Oh, good, they’re going to come back and win this.” It’s, “Oh, they came back, let’s see how they start losing again.”

This is who they are and it’s plain to see. The 2017 San Francisco Giants are a bad baseball team. There is no 2001 A’s miracle coming. Mac Williamson getting called up and turning into Mike Trout would not make this team a playoff team. Using a time machine to keep Madison Bumgarner from getting injured would not make this team a playoff team. There are too many bad players playing badly, and there’s no relief in sight. Literally, since the bullpen is such a disaster.

You could analyze this game if you wanted to. Ty Blach gave up too much hard contact and couldn’t put guys away. Amir Garrett threw pitches in a baseball game, and maybe they were good pitches and maybe they were bad pitches, but it’s not like the Giants would be able to hit those pitches either way. Billy Hamilton got hits and stuff. It doesn’t matter. The Giants are a deeply, deeply bad baseball team and watching them is terrible. That’s the main takeaway. Really, that’s the only takeaway.