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April was a hideous demon month, and the Giants are glad it’s over

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Would you be surprised to learn that this was one of the worst Aprils in San Francisco Giants history? Well, guess what, it was.

San Diego Padres v San Francisco Giants Photo by Jason O. Watson/Getty Images

You don’t need me to tell you the Giants had one of their worst starts to the season since moving to San Francisco, but, well, I made a table and I’m not really doing anything else, so here goes:

The Giants had one of their worst starts since moving to San Francisco.

To hammer that point home, here’s every April since 1958. Note that I didn’t include any games in March because March baseball is trash. Also, because I’m lazy.

April records, 1958-2017

Year Wins Losses WP%
Year Wins Losses WP%
1980 6 14 .300
1984 7 16 .304
1983 7 14 .333
2017 9 17 .346
1985 7 12 .368
1972 6 10 .375
1979 9 14 .391
1995 2 3 .400
1991 8 12 .400
1990 8 12 .400
2015 9 13 .409
1976 7 10 .412
2004 10 14 .417
1977 8 11 .421
1981 9 12 .429
2000 10 13 .435
1967 7 9 .438
1965 7 9 .438
1982 9 11 .450
1970 10 12 .455
2008 13 15 .464
1975 10 11 .476
1988 11 12 .478
1974 11 12 .478
2016 12 13 .480
2009 10 10 .500
2001 12 12 .500
1998 13 13 .500
1989 12 12 .500
1978 10 10 .500
2011 13 12 .520
2005 12 11 .522
1994 12 11 .522
1996 14 12 .538
2007 13 11 .542
2006 13 11 .542
2012 12 10 .545
1992 12 10 .545
1963 11 9 .550
2013 15 12 .556
1959 9 7 .563
2002 15 11 .577
1968 10 7 .588
2010 13 9 .591
2014 16 11 .593
1966 11 7 .611
1986 13 8 .619
1993 15 9 .625
1961 10 6 .625
1958 9 5 .643
1999 16 8 .667
1960 10 5 .667
1987 16 7 .696
1997 17 7 .708
1969 15 6 .714
2003 18 7 .720
1964 8 3 .727
1973 18 6 .750
1962 15 5 .750
1971 18 5 .783

In 1985, the Giants lost 100 games for the only time in franchise history. They still had a better record in April than the 2017 Giants.

In 2008, Brian Bocock was the starting shortstop, Eugenio Velez was the starting second baseman, and Jose Castillo was the starting third baseman. Aaron Rowand hit third a couple times, and Bengie Molina was the cleanup hitter. They still had a better record in April than the 2017 Giants.

You’ve seen some bad baseball in your life. But you’ve rarely seen baseball this bad. If I had to pick out my least favorite part, other than all the losing, it would be that the Pythagorean record is exactly what the real record is. You can’t even point at luck goblins and say, “See? See? They’re just unlucky.” They’re allowing way more runs than they score. Which is bad.

Just to get to 90 wins, the Giants have to go 81-55 for the rest of the season, which means they would have to play like one of the best teams in franchise history for the next five months. Which is unlikely. Which is bad.

The good news is that