April was a hideous demon month, and the Giants are glad it’s over

You don’t need me to tell you the Giants had one of their worst starts to the season since moving to San Francisco, but, well, I made a table and I’m not really doing anything else, so here goes:

The Giants had one of their worst starts since moving to San Francisco.

To hammer that point home, here’s every April since 1958. Note that I didn’t include any games in March because March baseball is trash. Also, because I’m lazy.

In 1985, the Giants lost 100 games for the only time in franchise history. They still had a better record in April than the 2017 Giants.

In 2008, Brian Bocock was the starting shortstop, Eugenio Velez was the starting second baseman, and Jose Castillo was the starting third baseman. Aaron Rowand hit third a couple times, and Bengie Molina was the cleanup hitter. They still had a better record in April than the 2017 Giants.

You’ve seen some bad baseball in your life. But you’ve rarely seen baseball this bad. If I had to pick out my least favorite part, other than all the losing, it would be that the Pythagorean record is exactly what the real record is. You can’t even point at luck goblins and say, “See? See? They’re just unlucky.” They’re allowing way more runs than they score. Which is bad.

Just to get to 90 wins, the Giants have to go 81-55 for the rest of the season, which means they would have to play like one of the best teams in franchise history for the next five months. Which is unlikely. Which is bad.

The good news is that