See that picture up there? That’s a picture of Madison Bumgarner hitting a home run, and it’s on a shirt. The shirt celebrates him hitting home runs. You don’t have a shirt that celebrates Madison Bumgarner hitting home runs yet, but you should.
The thing about that, though, is that you can buy this shirt. You can buy it right here for $24. One minute you’re just some meaningless slab of person drifting through time, and the next minute, you’re someone with a cool shirt that celebrates Madison Bumgarner hitting home runs.
Do I make money from this? I do! Feels like I should be up front about this part. I get a few bucks, which is what allows me to be this shameless. Nay, what forces me to be this shameless. But these shirts are MLBPA-licensed, so Bumgarner gets some money, too. You know the deal about his contract, after all. Help him out.
I will say this about Breaking T shirts, though: They sell out. Splash 69? Gone. Bumgarner Rakes? Gone. The ones from 2014? Long gone. So if you want one of these Bumgarner shirts, you should buy one soon.
You should buy a Madison Bumgarner shirt soon, is what I’m saying.
Buy the shirt.
The holidays are around the corner.
The universe is telling you to buy this shirt. Thank you.
UPDATE (4/21): This shirt now has an updated meaning and you should still buy it.