Giancarlo Stanton is using his no-trade clause to block a trade to the Giants

On the same day that Shohei Ohtani decided that the Angels were the team for him, Giancarlo Stanton has decided he doesn’t want to be on the San Francisco Giants. It’s official.

Late on Thursday night, the Giants were reportedly dead when it came to a possible Giancarlo Stanton trade. Ken Rosenthal said that it was looking less likely. Craig Mish had a list of teams that Stanton would accept, and none of them were the Giants. Henry Schulman heard that San Francisco might be Stanton’s last choice. Now we have Stanton’s official word that it’s not going to be the Giants.

Heliot Ramos is better anyway, you’ll see. You’ll all see. Giancarlo Stanton was probably sour, anyway.

The Giants will return to the reality that was presented to them before the offseason started. They’re looking for improved outfield defense. They’re looking for a third baseman. They’re looking for bullpen help. They’re looking for more power. They don’t have a ton of money to spend, and they don’t have a farm system that’s overflowing with power. They’re playing SimCity on hard mode, and it’s not likely to be pretty.

Stanton will reportedly accept a trade to the Dodgers, Cubs, Yankees, and Astros. Because as we all know as Giants fans, a team that is good one year is likely to be good in the next. But these teams are all young and loaded, and they’re all playing in huge markets, with tons of resources. The Giants are like that, but without the young players.

The Dodgers are still the favorites, I would think. If the Marlins want to save even $100 million of his contract, Stanton can hold out for his hometown team. The co-favorites are the Marlins, who really might not be interested in jettisoning Stanton if they have to take Adrian Gonzalez and Scott Kazmir back, paying scores of millions to lose more games and sell fewer tickets. We can still hope for the Marlins.

It’s not going to be the Giants, though. Let’s listen to a wise, handsome man.

The Giants have reasons to be hopeful for Giancarlo Stanton and Shohei Ohtani, and that’s the problem

Sing it, pal.

This has a better chance of being the worst offseason in years for the Giants, something that could lead to something like the nuclear winter of the ‘70s, where they were so far behind the Dodgers that they made us feel better by not even pretending to try.

Hit me with that good stuff.

This is going to be the offseason the Dodgers make the Giants wear their underwear on their head as they leave gym class, and it’s going to be in front of the whole student body. We’re all going to feel dumb when it happens, because we knew better than to have hope.

Yes, yes, yes. It was so easy to imagine the Giants going from the worst outfield in baseball to the best with two simple moves, and, oh, their rotation just got much better. Ha ha, Dodgers, what do you think of that?

Instead, it’s time to wait for Ramos, hope there is a Panik/Duffy-like surprise along the way, and pray for a slow, gradual decline for all of the players just entering their 30s. The Giants will sign Jay Bruce unless they pay way too much for J.D. Martinez unless they do something else that will waste the money of the ownership group, which shouldn’t really bother me, I guess. If this is the karmic debt the Giants have to repay after 2010 through 2014, it’s a modest one. I’ll take it. We’re still not victims.

At the same time, I really, really wanted to watch at least one of the two exciting baseball players the Giants were rumored to be in the mix for over the last few days. It would have made my life more interesting. It would have made your life more interesting.

As is, heck, I’m not sure if the Giants are going to be interesting next year. We’ll see what kind of city they can build with that $10,000 hard-mode bond, but I’m pretty sure there’s a monster attack coming soon. Either way, I’m looking forward to seeing what Plan C is.