The Los Angeles Dodgers are going to the World Series. They’ve won the pennant for the first time since I’ve had armpit hair, and it’s more than a little annoying. It’s been 583 years since Travis Ishikawa hit his home run, and now we have to deal with this crap.
By law, I’m required to include a video of Ishikawa’s home run now that I’ve mentioned it.
Look, that doesn’t make everything feel super great. But it’s impossible to watch that video and not feel better. That goes for anything that’s wrong. If you’re dumped, fired, gassy, just pull that bad boy up. And as long as we’re talking about teams winning the pennant, we might as well indulge.
But the Dodgers won the pennant. There’s nothing fun about this. In a few days, they’ll host a World Series game. Everyone in Los Angeles will be talking about the Dodgers. Dodgers, Dodgers, Dodgers. They’ll play with bunting around the perimeter of the ballpark. There will be a flyover. There will be whoever the regional equivalent to Huey Lewis is in that wretched burg. Even if they lose*, it will be an incredibly special time for them.
* it would be better if they lost
It’s at this point that it’s a fair question to ask ourselves when the Giants will play in their next World Series. They went eight years between 1954 and 1962, and that wasn’t so bad. They went 27 years between 1962 and 1989, which is pretty bad, but not as bad as the Dodgers’ drought. Then they went 13 years between ‘89 and 2002, and eight years between ‘02 and 2010. And then, well, you know. We probably shouldn’t expect that last stretch again.
I’m going to be bold. Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s dulling the dormant ennui bubbling up after all these years, but I’m going to guess eight years. Heliot Ramos will be a five-tool superstar. Buster Posey will be a well-paid mascot who can still crush lefties. Isaac Globston will set a franchise record for strikeouts as a rookie. You’ll love it.
Until then, well, the Dodgers are going to the World Series, probably because of something you did. I wish you hadn’t have done that. It’s made everyone you know really, really sad.
Go Yankstros, though. That is my new favorite baseball squadron, and I can’t express that enough.