Hello, Giants partisans and fans of dinger-mashing in general! I’m on vacation this week, and I
needed mindless content was looking to provide you with quality, timeless entertainment, as always. That’s when I realized that while it’s been possible to click a mouse several times, type in search queries, and spend time looking for all of Madison Bumgarner’s home runs, that didn’t serve my cynical click-thirsty brand it wasn’t possible to watch them in one convenient location.
This, then, is for you! I’ve taken the liberty of ranking all of Madison Bumgarner’s home runs. You might disagree with some of the exact rankings, but we’re talking different notes in the same, beautiful scale.
2(tied). 6/12/12, off Bud Norris
Favorite part: The smile as he gets ready to round third base. Act like you've been there before, noob!
2(t). 9/11/12, off Jhoulys Chacin
Favorite part: That it came in a start in which he was struggling mightily. Down three, two outs, help yourself out or lose the game. He helped himself out.
2(t). 4/11/14, off Jorge De La Rosa
Favorite part: It was a grand slam! That and De La Rosa's reaction. He probably didn't mean to tip his cap ...
... but, well, what else can you do?
2(t). 6/15/14, off Franklin Morales
Favorite part: Thinking about how much the Rockies must hate Bumgarner. Apropos of nothing, Jeff Passan's book The Arm gives you an update on what Casey Weathers is doing these days.
2(t). 7/13/14, off Matt Stites
Favorite part: That three (3) runners were on base at the time, which makes it the best possible home run. Also, Dave Flemming's call picks up mid-sentence, so we get to guess what he was saying before that. Probably something about how Bumgarner regularly makes the Diamondbacks feel shame.
2(t). 9/23/14, off Zack Greinke
Favorite part: How excited Bumgarner was rounding the bases. Careful, Madison! That's probably against the unwritten rules!
Alternate favorite part: That it was an 0-2 count because Bumgarner muffed two bunt attempts, as well as the part where it came off an offspeed pitch.
2(t). 6/28/15, off Christian Bergman
Favorite part: The home run hits off the fair pole, but the sudden adjustment makes it look like the camera operator gave up on following the homer after it disintegrated.
2(t). 7/25/15, off Chris Bassitt
Favorite part: Mike Krukow second-guessing at :24. "Should've thrown him the breaking ball." Note that this specific form of second-guessing will be valid until Bumgarner retires.
2(t). 8/16/15, off Casey Janssen
D'AAWWWWWWWWW, THAT ONE WAS FOR YOU, TAYLOR MADISON.
2(t). 8/21/15, off Jeff Locke
Favorite part: There's something about the gasp at PNC Park that's much better than most gasps around the league. The Pirates fans are truly the best gaspers in baseball, and they gasped a good gasp here.
2(t). 6/2/16, off Aaron Blair
Favorite part: Adonis Garcia getting ready to field a bunt at :06 because that's what pitchers usually do and welp.
1(t). 4/9/16, off Clayton Kershaw
Favorite part: That it came off Clayton Kershaw.
1(t). 5/21/15, off Clayton Kershaw
Favorite part: That it came off Clayton Kershaw and the Giants won, which is an important piece of the ol' puzzle.
I hope you have enjoyed this cavalcade of Bumgarner dingers. The Giants are 10-3 when he hits a home run. That’s a 124-win pace, which would be a record. Thus, I’m suggesting that Bumgarner should hit a home run in every game. There will need to be some kinks worked out, but you can’t ignore the logic.
There's no time like the present to start that strategy, good sir. No time like the present.