Ex-Giants in the majors

Opening Day was yesterday, except for the six teams that opened the day before, and the four teams that got rained out yesterday, and the two that are just scheduled to start today. And while we follow the Giants, did you know that there are former members of the Giants who are currently on different teams? It's true! Let's go team by team, and see which former Giants are on 25- and 40-man rosters.

NL West

Diamondbacks
None

Rockies
None

Dodgers
Charlie Culberson! In case you forgot that Charlie Culberson made the Dodgers' Opening Day roster, don't feel bad, because that is the least memorable fact in baseball history.

Padres - None

NL Central

Pirates
Ryan Vogelsong, Chris Stewart, and Mike Morse. Hi guys! I have fond memories of all of you, though I don't necessarily want you back on the Giants. Also, for the masochism- and dead horse-minded among you, there's former Giants farmhand Francisco Liriano.

Cubs
None. Don't let the constant offseason rumors about Dexter Fowler convince you. He was never a Giant.

Reds
Adam Duvall made Cincinnati's roster this year, and good for him. He was never going to have a spot on the Giants, and having had a few interactions with him in Sacramento, he's incredibly nice and I wish him all the best. Also, if you're counting guys who were in the Giants system but never made the majors with them, they got Alfredo Simon in the Felix Rodriguez-Ricky Ledee deal. That might seem like an interesting fact, but really I just made you think about both Felix Rodriguez and Ricky Ledee, so actually I'm a monster.

Brewers
None

Cardinals
Over the offseason, of course, they signed Giants legend Mike Leake. Remember him? He existed.

NL East

Braves
/shuffles feet, sighs heavily

/mumbles something

"WHAT? SPEAK UP."

/sighs dramatically

AJ PIERZYNSKI, OKAY? AJ PIERZYNSKI.

But hey, also Jeff Francoeur! Love you, Frenchy! And former Giants minor leaguer Jason Grilli, who they traded away before they traded away Ryan Vogelsong, is still kicking around somehow. Good for you, Jason! Go get 'em.

Marlins
No one, though former Giants minor leaguer Kendry Flores is on the 40-man. Former Giants major leaguer Cole Gillespie was recently designated for assignment too. Also, I think their hitting coach spent some time in San Francisco? Just a rumor I heard.

Phillies
Emmanuel Burriss! If you were wondering how bad the Phillies are going to be this year, that's your answer.

Nationals
Yusmeiro Petit. I have nothing against the Nationals, but I also hope that every time someone from that 2014 team looks at Petit, he thinks to himself "Aw dammit." I like rubbing my team's success in people's faces. It makes me feel important.

Mets
Alejandro De Aza was literally on the Giants last year, you know. Pinky swear. And former prominent Giants prospect Zack Wheeler is on his way back from Tommy John surgery. That'll be a relief for the Mets, because that rotation really needs some help.

AL West

Astros
HEY WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY JOKE ABOUT CONFUSING ONE MATT DUFFY FOR THE OTHER MATT DUFFY THEIR NAMES ARE ACTUALLY THE SAME YOU KNOW LITTLE KNOWN FACT

Angels
None. Baseball Reference thinks that Ramon Ramirez is on the 40-man, but he's not.

A's
None

Mariners
Nori Aoki! Hi, buddy! Man, he was fun. Don't get me wrong, Denard Span is a better player and I'm glad he's on the Giants, but there's no way the photos are going to be as good. Prove me wrong, Denard. Prove me wrong.

Rangers
None

AL Central

Royals
None, because, impossible as it might seem, Ian Kennedy was never a Giant.

White Sox
Melky Cabrera. Every time I think of Melky from now until the end of time, I will think of a bad and cheap fake website joke. Is this fair? Yes, it is absolutely fair. Thank you for your question.

Indians
Dan Otero, Rajai Davis, Marlon Byrd, Juan Uribe. Remember when Bryan was absolutely sure that the Giants were going to re-sign Marlon Byrd? And remember how there were rumors that the Giants might sign Juan Uribe over the offseason, which were immediately followed by some variation of "if he'll take much less money than he wants to take"? And remember how the Pirates gave the Giants Rajai Davis for Matt Morris and Matt Morris's contract? And remember when Dan Otero . . . pitched . . . that time? Sorry, Dan, that's all I got.

Tigers
None

Twins
None

AL East

Blue Jays
None, though former Richmond Flying Squirrel Joe Biagini made the Opening Day roster. Toronto took Biagini in the Rule 5 draft over the winter after he'd had a very shiny ERA in AA without the peripherals to back it up. Biagini had been a starter in the minors, but he'll be relieving for the Blue Jays. Good for you, Joe! Best of luck.

On the subject of Joe Biagini, here is a video in which some current Giants prospects make fools out of themselves, which I will always support:

Orioles
None

Red Sox
He hasn't made a lot of news lately, so you'll be forgiven if you've forgotten that Pablo Sandoval is on the Red Sox. Heath Hembree is also on the 40-man, and Edwin Escobar, who got to AAA with the Giants, is also awaiting his chance with Boston.

Yankees
Unfairly Maligned Giant Carlos Beltran is a Yankee, and let me take this opportunity to remind you that while he is maligned by Giants fans, that is unfair. It's not his fault he got hurt when he came over, and when he finally got healthy, he was an extremely good hitter. For the last month of 2011, he and Pablo Sandoval were the Giants' entire offense. He did his best.

Rays
None

And there you have it. These are all the ex-Giants that are on a big league roster, except for the guys I forgot. Please enjoy these delightful facts.