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I've decided Clayton Kershaw should pitch really poorly against the Giants for once

I've read and re-read the logic behind this, and everything still checks out.

Jason O. Watson/Getty Images

Hello, everyone. Thank you for reading my thoughts about baseball. Today while having thoughts about baseball, I had a thought. Specifically, a thought about baseball. And after mulling it over for a bit, I would like to share it with you:

I think it's time that the Giants scored a lot of runs against Clayton Kershaw in a game against the Dodgers.

It's time! I've held this in for long enough, but it's been nagging at me for a while. This will be Kershaw's 32nd start against the Giants. That's just about the number of starts most pitchers have in a full, healthy season. That means of the eight seasons Kershaw has pitched, he's essentially pitched against the Giants for one of them. This, of course, is nonsense. It's pure, unadulterated poppycock.

The worst part is that he pitches extremely well in just about every one of these stupid games. He's thrown 235 innings against the Giants, with a 1.57 career ERA against them. That's just inappropriate. Of his 31 career starts against the Giants, he's thrown 29 quality starts, allowing exactly four runs in the other two starts. Let's just compare his distribution of runs allowed in these starts with Bob Gibson in 1968:

Bob Gibson, 1968 Clayton Kershaw vs. Giants
0 runs 15 9
1 run 9 8
2 runs 3 11
3 runs 5 1
4 runs 2 2
5+ runs 0 0

Yeah, Gibson was a little better overall in 1968, so take that, Kershaw. You're only almost as good against the Giants as a Hall of Fame pitcher was in one of baseball's all-time greatest seasons.

Take Sandy Koufax, a much more reasonable fellow. He pitched well against the Giants, sure. He twirled shutouts and masterpieces, and he made Giants fans curse his name. But he also had the decency to mix in a pungent start every so often. Look at this first inning from 1963:

  • Jose Pagan - Single to left
  • Willie McCovey - Single to right
  • Willie Mays - Seven-pitch walk
  • Orlando Cepeda - Bases-clearing double
  • Felipe Alou - Home run
  • Jim Davenport - Strikeout
  • Ed Bailey - Single
  • Joey Amalfitano - Walk (Koufax replaced mid-batter after a wild pitch)

Again, that was the first inning! Koufax went just a third of an inning, allowing five earned runs, which ballooned his ERA all the way up to 1.71. He just didn't have it that afternoon, and the Giants took advantage. They pummeled him. That's what happens to good pitchers sometimes. They get hit hard.

And, I'm sorry to keep going on about this, but I think it's time that the Giants do something like that against Clayton Kershaw.

Tim Lincecum had bad games against the Dodgers in his Cy Young seasons. Juan Marichal had plenty of them over his career. Willie Mays had some 0-for-4s against them, as did Willie McCovey. There were games in which Barry Bonds did not hit a home run against them. And here Kershaw is, thinking he's somehow too good to have a stinker of a game. It's rude. That's the right word for it: It's very, very rude.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't to suggest that the Giants are hopeless against Kershaw. The Giants have won 12 of their 31 games against him, after all, and it's always, always, always fun when they win on something random, like a Brett Pill or Brandon Hicks home run against him. There's something glorious about an unlikely hitter sneaking past security and pulling Kershaw's underwear over his head right when he's feeling secure. It's one of my favorite genres of Giants game, if not my favorite.

However, it would also be a lot of fun if the Giants just hit the snot out of the ball against Kershaw one of these days. Just swatted a bunch of dingers in the second inning, or batted around in a 38-pitch inning. This is something that has not happened yet, but after careful contemplation, I've decided that it should.

Here, it would go something like this:

  • Denard Span - Single, stolen base
  • Angel Pagan - Single, run scores
  • Buster Posey - Double, run scores
  • Hunter Pence - Double, run scores
  • Matt Duffy - Walk
  • Brandon Belt - Home run, three runs score
  • Kelby Tomlinson - Walk
  • Madison Bumgarner - 10-pitch Walk
  • New pitcher - comes in
  • Grant Brisbee - hilarious Crying Jordan meme

That's all it would take! We've seen all of those people do those same things in different games. Just string them together, and blam!

It would also be fine if the Giants won a 1-0 game against Kershaw, with the one run coming on a dropped third strike, a blown balk call, and a broken bat single that falls between four fielders. There is no "right" way to win against him or the Dodgers.

But the more I think about this, the more I'm sure: Clayton Kershaw should allow a bunch of runs to the Giants in one of these games, hopefully starting this Friday night. I've emailed this to every email account with a or an domain, and hopefully it will get in the right hands. All I'm asking is that they consider it.

Because if this doesn't happen, I'll have to just throw my hands up and admit that I'm actually quite sick of Kershaw. Just completely tired of him and his pitching! It seems like that would be a shame, so we'll try this first.

Score a bunch of runs against Clayton Kershaw, Giants. Allow a bunch of runs to the Giants, Clayton Kershaw. Thank you for your time.