Hello, reader. Last week, I looked at ex-Giants in the majors, going team-by-team to figure out all of the ex-Giants were in the majors. Why? Because Emmanuel Burriss was on the Phillies and I needed to share that very important information with the people who would care about it as deeply as I did. Those people were you. Those people are still you. But did you know that there are also former Giants in the minor leagues, working to make it back to the majors? Sure you did! You're not dumb. But did you know who and where they are? Probably not! Let's learn you good.
Oklahoma City Dodgers (Dodgers)
Brandon Hicks, and also pitching coach Matt Herges. Signing Hicks seems to be an odd move, considering that his only skill is hitting that home run that time off Clayton Kershaw, which the Dodgers, organizationally, probably can't get a lot of use from. Maybe they're just trying to keep him off of every other team, which would be a smart move.
As for Herges, well, Julio Urias probably doesn't ever point at the sky. Not when he induces a pop-up, not when he gives up a home run, not when he gives up yet another home run, not when he gives up still another home run, and not on a warning track fly ball. Shameful, Julio. You've still got a lot to learn.
Omaha Storm Chasers (Royals)
David Huff. He's got a World Series ring, you know. That's one more than I have. That's very impressive.
Colorado Springs Sky Sox (Brewers)
Iowa Cubs (Cubs)
Jean Machi and Juan Perez. I spent a very long time being much more down on Machi than his numbers said I should be. Eventually he was bad again, so in a way I was right, but really, since I never acknowledged he was good at all, I was also wrong. Sorry, Jean. We'll always appreciate that fart gif.
As for Perez, he's a very good defensive outfielder whose choice of the Cubs is a little bizarre, considering their ridiculous outfield depth. He's also one of the few players who will sign for every person in the stands at every game, which, while possibly not great time management, is incredibly generous, and I'll always think fondly of him for it. Also, the Giants didn't lose Game 7 of the 2014 World Series because of him, so it's easy to be generous.
This roster also holds Scott Barnes, who the Giants traded for Ryan Garko back in 2009, in a trade still remembered as utterly inconsequential in every way.
Round Rock Express (Rangers)
Memphis Redbirds (Cardinals)
Nashville Sounds (A's)
Manager Steve Scarsone! It's too bad injuries took such a toll on the manager he replaced. The Nashville fans really liked him.
Also, I should note Eric Surkamp, who got called up to the A's between last week's post and this one. Is he trying to avoid being mentioned on this site? Probably!
New Orleans Zephyrs (Marlins)
I talked about Cole Gillespie and Kendry Flores last week, but hey, they're still here!
Tacoma Rainiers (Mariners)
Fresno Grizzlies (Astros)
Reno Aces (Diamondbacks)
Cody Hall! Did I ever tell you about the time that Cody Hall was nice enough to pose for a selfie with kdl and me?
Selfie with Cody Hall! pic.twitter.com/4fs52qVgzw— groug (@moonwalkmcfly) September 11, 2015
We're basically best friends.
Sacramento River Cats (Giants)
So many on this team! Mike Broadway, Jake Dunning, Andrew Susac, Conor Gillaspie, Darren Ford, Ryan Lollis, Jarrett Parker, Mac Williamson, and hitting coach Damon Minor! It's like it's some kind of deliberate strategy to collect players who have been on the Giants before. Honestly, it comes off as a little creepy. Back off and give us some space already. Geez.
Salt Lake Bees (Angels)
Ramon Ramirez. The Giants traded for him for the stretch run in 2010, and he had a fluky 0.67 ERA for them down the stretch. In 2011, his ERA was 2.62, and even FIP agreed that he was just about that good. Then the Giants traded him to the Mets as part of the Angel Pagan deal, and he basically just gave up, which, to be fair, is a totally valid response to being traded to the Mets.
Las Vegas 51s (Mets)
Johnny Monell. He is from New York and got his first major league start at Yankee Stadium. This is everything I know about Johnny Monell.
Albuquerque Isotopes (Rockies)
Manager Glenallen Hill. Look, we all know Barry's the hitting coach for the Marlins, and he could probably hit at least 15 homers if he played in the majors this year, but I think Glenallen Hill could get a couple too. That power was real. The lack of defensive talent was real too, but he could hit the ball a long way, which sure was fun.
Anyway, I don't see how prodigious home run skills would be of interest to a Rockies farm team. Weird hire.
El Paso Chihuahuas (Padres)
Nick Noonan, who was actually on the Giants last year! It's fair to say that he wasn't expecting that when he signed mid-year. Anyway, he's in the Padres organization now, so expect him to hit a 12th inning bloop single in September that beats the Giants. I'm not looking forward to it.
International League North
Syracuse Chiefs (Nationals)
None. Bronson Arroyo has never been a Giant, and for that we can be thankful.
Rochester Red Wings (Twins)
Dan Runzler. I'm sure this is the season he stops walking everyone on the planet. Gotta happen one of these decades, right?
Buffalo Bisons (Blue Jays)
David Aardsma. Remember that year he was a really good closer for the Mariners? Wasn't that weird? And then the next year, he was a much less good closer for the Mariners. That was not so weird.
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders (Yankees)
Pawtucket Red Sox (Red Sox)
Like I discussed last week, there's Heath Hembree and former prospect Edwin Escobar, the two pieces of the Jake Peavy trade. But! They also have Giants legends Chris Dominguez and Justin Maxwell, who both had quite a bit of power, and not a lot of other offensive skills. Maxwell could play a good outfield. Dominguez got a ring. Tough call which of them has it better.
Lehigh Valey IronPigs (Phillies)
Former Giants catching prospect Tommy Joseph, who went over in the Hunter Pence deal, is still kicking around in the Phillies system, now trying to make it as a first baseman. Other than Max And Molly's Kid, he the only player related to the Giants.
International League South
Durham Bulls (Rays)
Gwinnett Braves (Braves)
None, which is a travesty. Why even have terrible teams if they're not going to sign bad ex-Giants to play on their AAA team? Shame on you, Braves.
Norfolk Tides (Orioles)
Charlotte Knights (White Sox)
Literally Travis Ishikawa and Hector Sanchez! They're both players who defied the odds for the Giants in the playoffs: Ishikawa by hitting a walk-off homer to end an NLCS where he probably should have been the MVP, and Hector by taking two walks in a game against the Reds. It's tough to say which was more improbable.
Let's also acknowledge Kameron Loe, who, while he never appeared for the Giants in either the majors or the minors, was once a non-roster invitee to Giants spring training, where he and Tim Lincecum one day wore each other's uniforms. Some context before the picture: Kameron Loe is a very large man. Tim Lincecum is not.
International League West
Toledo Mud Hens (Tigers)
Both Casey McGehee and Nate Schierholtz! I am rooting for Casey McGehee entirely because his success will make Matt Duffy happy, and you will never be able to convince me that this is wrong.
As for Schierholtz, he really seemed like the type to kick around the majors for a decade as a fourth or fifth outfielder, always good enough to make a roster but never good enough to start. Instead, he had a good 2013 with the Cubs, and then cratered the next year. Last year, he went to Japan and posted a sub-.300 OBP with the Hiroshima Carp, and now he's back, and hopefully he'll be good again.
Columbus Clippers (Indians)
Guillermo Quiroz. The man hit a walk-off dinger against the Dodgers. He's a Giant for life.
Indianapolis Indians (Pirates)
He didn't make the majors with the team, but a decade or so ago, Antoan Richardson made a few Giants prospect lists. And Curtis Partch was a River Cat last year, and a thoroughly adequate one. Whenever I saw him come into a game, I would mentally shrug and think, "That's fine." For a reliever, that's good enough.
Louisville Bats (Reds)
Again, no major leaguers, but among guys who've spent time in the Giants system, there's Carlos Triunfel, who played all over the infield for the River Cats last year, and Stephen Johnson, who went over in the Marlon Byrd trade. Do you not care about Carlos Triunfel and Stephen Johnson? Well, maybe you'd care about (rereads roster) no one. There's no one here you care about. Sorry.
That's it for all the people once on the Giants who are now in AAA. I'm very sorry I could not find Eugenio Velez. I feel this is a personal failing on my part, and I will do penance with humble supplication. Come back to baseball, Eugenio. Come home. We need you.