You're not happy about reading this. I'm not happy about writing it. But Tim Lincecum is probably going to be on the Padres this year, so we might as well skip over a couple stages of grief and accept it.
The new rumor isn't that juicy, but it sure makes sense.
The Padres have been "very active" on Tim Lincecum, the right-hander's agent said Monday on The Mighty 1090.
That's Lincecum's agent, who would say that his client is being recruited by Black Bolt to pitch for the Attilan Aardvarks if he thought it would get him a better deal, but think about what you would want if you were trying to make a comeback like Lincecum. You'd want things like ...
- A guaranteed spot in a rotation
- A non-contending team that would have patience with him
- A pitcher-friendly ballpark
- Something close to home
And if you're the Padres, you'd want things like ...
- A pitcher who would have tremendous trade value if he rebounds
- A way to needle the Giants
- A way to needle Giants fans
- A way to needle the stupid Giants and their stupid fans
Even though it would be awful to not-see Lincecum in a camouflage Padres uniform, you have to admit that the pairing makes more sense for baseball reasons than it would for any other team, including the Giants.
This is all wildly premature, of course, considering the January showcase that was planned has become a March showcase that keeps getting pushed back. If Lincecum doesn't impress, the Padres don't have to be interested. They have internal options, and they don't need to chase another team's nostalgia if they don't have to.
But ... you see where this is all going, right? Lincecum and the Padres makes an awful lot of sense, and this new rumor just confirms what we already knew. The only positives are that the move might be excellent for Lincecum's career, and that we all get to make no-hitter jokes for an entire season.
See? You're already getting used to the idea.