You know baseball season is close when your favorite team announces their schedule of promotions and giveaways. And, because you're a Giants fan, you lucky soul, you know you're getting one of the more creative promotional schedules in baseball. It's time to take a look at the stuff that will go for way too much money on eBay. Here's your 2016 Giants promotional schedule:
|Thu, April 7||Opening Day Calendar presented by AT&T|
|Fri, April 8||Opening Night Fireworks|
|Sat, April 9||Beat LA Flag presented by Coca-Cola|
|Sun, April 10||Madison Bumgarner Cap|
|Fri, April 22||Two Flaps Down Cap|
|Sat, April 23||Matt Duffy Bobblehead|
|Sun, April 24||Joe Panik Backpack|
|Sat, May 7||Brandon Crawford Bobblehead|
|Sun, May 8||Mother’s Day Quilted Tote Bag|
|Sat, May 21||MLB Playball Weekend|
|Sun, May 22||Buster Posey Kids Hamper|
|Fri, June 10||Orange Rally Rags|
|Sat, June 11||1986 Giants Team Reunion|
|Sun, June 12||Vintage Grey Cap|
|Fri, June 24||Fireworks Night|
|Sat, June 25||Madison Bumgarner Bobblehead|
|Sun, June 26||Giants LED Watch|
|Sat, July 9||Giants Player T-Shirt (Cueto or Samardzija)|
|Sun, July 10||Hello Kitty Day|
|Wed, July 27||Giants Slumber Party|
|Sat, July 30||Buster Hugs Mug|
|Sun, July 31||Bruce Bochy Gnome|
|Sat, August 13||Gaylord Perry Statue Replica|
|Sun, August 14||Hunter Pence Solar Bobblebody|
|Sat, August 20||Virgin America 2-for-1 Flight Voucher|
|Sun, August 21||Reusable Grocery Tote|
|Sat, August 27||Sergio Romo Portable Speakers|
|Sun, August 28||Mike Krukow Bobblehead (20-win season)|
|Sat, Sept. 17||Fiesta Gigantes|
|Fri, Sept. 30||Willie Mac Award|
|Sat, Oct. 1||STAR WARS Day T-shirt|
|Sun, Oct. 2||Fan Appreciation Day|
Oh, we have thoughts.
Thought #1: Good lord, I don't want to know what a Hunter Pence Solar Bobblebody is. That is a word salad with curdled dressing, and there's almost no way that giveaway won't be completely horrifying. I'm sure I'll want six.
Thought #2: The Bruce Bochy Gnome also sounds terrifying. Didn't we learn our lesson with the Tim Lincegnome?
GAH. Gnomes are a horrible trend. Stop the gnome trend. I'm sure I'll want only five of these.
Thought #3: The Madison Bumgarner bobblehead is of him swinging a danged bat.
A silver bat, mind you. This is instantly a top-five bobblehead. The bobbleheads will be for the first 40,000 fans, which is a generous allotment that not every team hands out.
Thought #4: I don't think any of us were expecting the Matt Duffy bobblehead at this time last year. We were too busy thinking about the Yusmeiro Petit and Travis Ishikawa bobbleheads that we weren't expecting the year before that.
Thought #5: Sergio Romo portable speakers doesn't make a lot of sense as a concept, but it sure puts the "fun" in functional, and I would like to have these speakers. Maybe they're in the shape of his head.
Thought #6: The Brandon Crawford bobblehead is two designs: One of him as a Gold Glover, and one of him as a Silver Slugger. That seems cruel and unfair to us completionists, here.
Thought #7: The MLB Network is sponsoring a reusable grocery tote for the second straight year. This will help you get your groceries from the store into your home.
Thought #8: The Buster Hugs mug sounds pretty adorable. I hope they at least give one to the dude who coined the phrase.
Thought #9: Gaylord Perry is getting a statue, and they're giving away a little Gaylord Perry statue to honor him. This is all an excellent idea.
Thought #10: No, seriously, what is a Hunter Pence Solar Bobblebody, cut it out, you guys, stop that, no, no, no.
There's more than just the giveaways and promotions. There are the special events, too, listed below:
|Date||Event Name||Giveaway Item|
|18-Apr||Stanford Night||Stanford Giants Hat|
|18-Apr||Bay Area Unite||Warriors-themed Giants Hat|
|19-Apr||UC Berkeley Night||Cal Giants Hat|
|20-Apr||San Francisco State Night||San Francisco St. Giants Hat|
|22-Apr||San Jose St. Night||San Jose St. Giants Hat|
|22-Apr||Golf Night||Julie Inkster Bobblehead|
|23-Apr||Brewfest||Complimentary Beer Tastes|
|25-Apr||St. Mary's College Night||St. Mary's Giants Hat|
|25-Apr||Irish Heritage Night 1||Irish Giants T-Shirt|
|26-Apr||Chinese Heritage Night||Year of the Monkey Figurine|
|5-May||Cinco de Mayo||Lou Seal "Cinco de Mayo edition" Bobblehead|
|6-May||Metallica Night||"Scary Guy" collectible statue|
|7-May||MARVEL Superheroes Day||Bobblehead|
|9-May||University of San Francisco Night||USF Giants Hat|
|9-May||Korean Heritage Night||Korean Giants Drawstring Backpack|
|10-May||Japanese Heritage Night||Giants Cherry Blossom T-Shirt|
|20-May||Orange Friday Happy Hour 1|
|23-May||Until There's A Cure|
|23-May||Filipino Heritage Night 1||Filipino Giants snapback hat|
|24-May||Bruce Lee Tribute||Bruce Lee Giants T-shirt|
|10-Jun||Orange Friday Happy Hour 2|
|13-Jun||Portuguese Heritage||Portuguese Giants blanket|
|14-Jun||Autism Awareness Night||Long-sleeved Will Clark t-shirt|
|15-Jun||Peanut Allergy Friendly Night|
|24-Jun||LGBT Night||Giants rainbow trucker hat|
|25-Jun||Wine Fest 1||Bruce Bochy Bobblestopper|
|27-Jun||Stitch N Pitch|
|8-Jul||Orange Friday Happy Hour 3|
|10-Jul||Hello Kitty Day||TBA|
|25-Jul||Firefighter Appreciation Night||TBA|
|25-Jul||Peanut Allergy Friendly Night|
|26-Jul||Toki Doki Night||"Adios/Romo" Vinyl figure|
|28-Jul||Law Enforcement Appreciation Night||Giants Belt Buckle|
|29-Jul||Wine Fest pres. By LoCa||Neoprene Giants wine bottle holder|
|14-Aug||Girl Scout Night||TBA|
|15-Aug||Irish Heritage Night 2||Irish Giants Hat|
|16-Aug||Native American Heritage Night||Giants Scarf|
|17-Aug||Peanut Allergy Friendly Night|
|18-Aug||Jerry Garcia Tribute||Jerry Garcia Giants hat|
|19-Aug||Orange Friday Happy Hour 4|
|21-Aug||Boy Scout Day||Commemoritive Giants Patch|
|26-Aug||Bill Graham Tribute||Bill Graham Bobblehead|
|26-Aug||Superheroes and Comics Night 2||Bobblehead|
|28-Aug||Gamer Day||Mike Krukow sound-chip Bobblehead|
|30-Aug||Jewish Heritage Night||Jewish Giants Hat|
|12-Sep||Step Up to the Plate||TBA|
|13-Sep||Filipino Heritage Night 2||TBA|
|15-Sep||Italian Heritage Night||TBA|
|16-Sep||Star Trek Day||TBA|
|17-Sep||Fiesta Gigantes||Tito Fuentes Bobblehead|
|27-Sep||Polynesian Heritage Night||Polynesian Giants Canvas Bag|
|28-Sep||Mason's Night||TBA (but probably a Roger Mason bobblehead)|
|28-Sep||African American Heritage||TBA|
|29-Sep||Santa Clara University Night||Santa Clara Giants Hat|
|1-Oct||Star Wars Day||Stormtrooper Bobblehead|
The Star Trek day is a nice touch, and I'm looking forward to seeing which Marvel bobblehead they come up with. The Giants really are good to their nerds.
There's your free stuff! All you have to do for your free stuff is buy the not-free tickets, unless you want to spend for the free stuff on eBay, which seems like missing the point. You'll end up spending about as much as you would have on the tickets in the first place.
In conclusion, I hope the person who said, "Wait, maybe the Bumgarner bobblehead should be of him hitting" got a raise.