The Giants have reportedly discussed bringing back Pablo Sandoval

A couple weeks ago when I was LARPing in the Royals Review offseason simulation, I reached out to the Red Sox representative to see just how much of Pablo Sandoval’s contract he would swallow. Part of my reasoning was to troll all of you, but there was another reason: No, that was pretty much the only reason.

Still, the thought of a mostly free Pablo Sandoval held some appeal. He’s been awful and hurt over the last two years, but we all know what he can do when he’s right.

Oh, be nice. But this isn’t just a post about my fleeting roster thoughts. This is an actual rumor. To your rumor stations!

At least internally, the Giants have considered a reunion with third baseman Pablo Sandoval, a baseball source told the Herald.

Ha ha ha ha, this will never end. The Giants just can’t quit their homegrown players. Tim Lincecum is gonna be the closer next year, too.

The argument for Sandoval: He was a career .294/.346/.465 hitter for the Giants, which is somewhat remarkable considering the ballpark. I do not expect Eduardo Nuñez to come close to those numbers. If we’re building a roster on paper, and you have a choice between Sandoval for free, or the options the Giants have on hand, I’d probably gamble that Sandoval still has some high-average doublin’ left in him.

The argument against Sandoval: [unfurls comically long scroll that hits the ground and spills down the stairs]

• He’s 30
• He’s been awful and/or hurt the last two years
• Don’t care about how he looks right now, you can’t make me pay attention to that again
• YOU CAN’T MAKE ME PAY ATTENTION TO THAT AGAIN
• There’s no way his defense is going to be acceptable after shoulder surgery
• He’s 30 and he’s been awful and/or hurt the last two years.

I’m as nostalgic as the next fool, and we sure had our times together, yes we did. But as a baseball move, I’m not seeing it. How much of the budget would you give away for this kind of gamble? He’s owed about $60 million over the next three years, so let’s say the Red Sox absorb $45 million of that. Would you sign Sandoval to a three-year, $15 million contract today? Maaaaaaaaaybe, but that’s real money that sucks real flexibility away.

And the Red Sox wouldn’t just eat that money to save $15 million. Not without a half-interesting prospect coming back. We’ve reached the point where it becomes a silly idea for both sides. Unless we reached it from that first sentence, “At least internally, the Giants have considered a reunion with third baseman Pablo Sandoval ...”

The abridged version: The Giants would be interested in an entirely free Pablo Sandoval, which the Red Sox would not be interested in providing. Finding the right match of needs and logical desires for both teams seems tricky.

It sure is a rumor, though. One of the funniest possible. So we’ll cover it here on the ol’ internet and laugh and laugh and laugh. And refresh Twitter a lot, just in case.

Edit: Here is a rational headline in response to this rumor from Chris Haft ...

Giants refute talks about acquiring Sandoval

Sounds about right. Still, what’s the offseason without a bushel of silly rumors?