First the Giants had to trade for Eduardo Nuñez. They they had to trade Matt Duffy. Then Nuñez had to get hurt in a Padres game. And that’s how Conor Gillaspie hit the home-run that won the NL Wild Card Game.
No, first the Giants had to sign Gillaspie as a minor-league free agent.
No, first the Giants had to draft Gillaspie.
NO, wait, first the Giants had to lose this game, which gave them the 37th-overall pick in the draft, which put them ahead of the Cardinals, who totally would have drafted Gillaspie.
No, wait ...
I need to lie down. But before I do, I’m going to watch several videos on a loop for hours, and I thought I would share them with you.
Here’s Madison Bumgarner pitching well and stuff:
Here’s Conor Gillaspie reminding us that life is a simulation and nobody that you love is real, and that you’re okay with this, all of this:
Here’s Gillaspie and Bumgarner talking for a long time about what in the heck we just watched:
Here’s Jon Miller calling Conor Gillaspie’s home run on KNBR because apparently it wasn’t made up?
While I can’t embed the Spanish language call yet, just know that the link is absolutely worth clicking.
Here’s Jon Miller describing Bumgarner as having "no chill," which might be wrong, but I’m not entirely sure myself, and it was perfect on all counts, so watch it:
Too many videos will slow things down, so I think we have to stop.
After this one more video.
The Giants are still alive in the postseason, and I’m not sure how. Those videos seem to tell the story, but I’m not convinced. I’ll have to watch them again, just to be sure.