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The things to root for as the Giants' season winds down

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Think there's nothing but meaningless baseball left? Well, here are some remaining Giants storylines that should get you excited.

Also, this
Also, this
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

It's a lost season. There's a Padres series coming up. These two things go together like expense reports and hair in your food. Or food on your expense reports, which you try to wipe up with your hair. Whatever permutation you use, it's drab and gross. Here is the rest of your season. The only thing that's worse is the end of the season.

Sigh. Come back, meaningful baseball. Come baaaaaaaack.

Wait! There's plenty of meaning left. You just have to search for it. Other than the obvious -- Giants players doing good things for the Giants and helping them win -- here are some of the meaningful nuggets of baseball left in the 2015 season.

Madison Bumgarner winning 20

This might be the first time I've referenced pitcher wins all year, other than Bruce Bochy leaving a pitcher in too long in an attempt to get him one. Remember that game where Aroldis Chapman blew a save and walked a pitcher sent up to pinch-hit? Probably not, considering it was a while ago and no one really examined it too closely, but it happened, and Chapman got the win. Good job, effort, guy who almost lost the sure victory.

Pitcher wins are useless.

They can be entertaining, though. I'll always be a sucker for back-o'-the-baseball-card stats, and what Bumgarner winning 20 games would tell us is that there were at least 20 times that Madison Bumgarner started a baseball game and made Giants fans happy. Probably more, considering there would be no-decisions for the team to win, too, but definitely 20.

It doesn't tell you how good Bumgarner is, not without other stats. It doesn't tell you how good he'll be in the future. It's just a round number.

Round numbers can be neat.

I'm a sheep. I can admit it. Keep shoveling those round numbers at me.

Buster Posey getting 100 RBI

Second verse, same as the first. This one I've written about before, and nothing's changed. A list of the Giants who have had 100 RBI seasons in the last 10 years:

  • Buster Posey, 2012

That's a strong list. Posey was productive that season, if I recall correctly. From 1993 through 2002, the Giants had 15 different RBI seasons, one in every year except 1994. Like pitcher wins, RBI mostly meaningless. Or, rather, they have meaning, but it has to do with team strength and total opportunities. You shouldn't be using them to evaluate individual players.

On the other hand, round numbers can be neat.

A glimmer of hope regarding Chris Heston

Because there isn't a lot of exciting news in the world of Heston right now. Since August 1: eight starts, a 5.12 ERA, with 21 walks and 29 strikeouts in 38.2 innings. He's allowed almost twice as many homers (eight) as he did in the 20 starts before August 1. He looks like a tired pitcher who doesn't know where his sinker is going. Which is probably what he is.

A strong couple of starts, with the old slippery sinker back, would do wonders for my offseason confidence. As is, he's probably in the bullpen or a River Cat next year, but it would be nice if the pleasant surprise of an emergency option came back.

A Giants fielder winning a Gold Glove

Brandon Crawford deserves it. He's waited patiently for his chance, and even though he's never made the final three, it's his turn. At the risk of jinxing everything, I think he's the frontrunner.

A bigger surprise would be Buster Posey unseating Yadier Molina, but it's certainly possible. Don't forget that 25 percent of the vote is based on cold, unfeeling stats, and Posey has that vote locked up.

The Dodgers not clinching at AT&T Park

There are five games left before the Giants and Dodgers meet next week. The Dodgers' magic number is seven.

If the Dodgers win all five games and the Giants win all five, the Giants still can't lose one game in the four-game series.

If the Dodgers win three games, and the Giants win three games, the Giants can't split the series.

You get the idea. There are all sorts of permutations of the Dodgers getting hot and the Giants sucking eggs that would lead to a potential clincher at AT&T Park. Imagine a smiling Tommy Lasorda, shaking hands and hugging people as he slithers onto the field. Your field.

Though there could be some benefits:

Yasiel Puig: I'm going to pee in their pool!

A.J. Ellis: Yasiel, that's not a

Puig: /climbs right field fence

Puig: Yas-i-el! Yas-i-el!

Puig: /smells like toxic waste and sea lion fur

Puig: /is pooped on by 30 different seagulls

Puig: Yasiel Puig immediately regrets his decision!

Would make it almost worth it! Would not make it worth it.

The Giants going 11-2 over their final 13 games, with the Dodgers going 4-9

Security! Get this ... security! We have someone trying to get our hopes up over here!

Although, I mean, that's totally possible. The Giants have won 11 of 13 games without it making the front page of the New York Times, and the Dodgers have ... no, wait, security!

I mean it's unlikely but hey where are you taking me

The Giants finishing over .500

That's much better

No one else getting hurt

It's not a reason to watch, really. But it is something to root for. Do you remember how the 2013 season ended? Of course not, you were drunk. It ended like this:

Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images

Gregor Blanco looked like he was done for the year and, considering the recovery time for an ACL tear, probably the start of the next season. He was fine. But an inning before the season ended, play stopped and trainers came out.

You've had your way with us, odd year, as the prophecies foretold. Take this sacrifice, shaped like Joaquin Arias, and leave us alone, please.