MLB Draft 2015: Giants picks from day two, reviewed

The second round of the amateur draft reminds me of this:

Crackly, ominous distress signals sent out from beyond the universe. Some of the callers from the scouting departments around baseball sound like they're calling from inside a coffin buried under Mt. Reverb. I recommend it. It's harrowing.

The Giants made it, though. They drafted eight more players in the 2015 draft, and the odds are decent that at least one of them will make the majors. The last time the Giants didn't get a single major leaguer in the third through 10th rounds of a draft was 2005, which was the infamous Michael Tucker draft. You'll probably see at least one of these guys. You might see one of them a lot.

Here are some of the awards we can hand out from the second day of the 2015 MLB Draft:

Most related to Jose Vizcaino

That would be Jose Vizcaino, Jr., a third baseman out of Santa Clara. Hey, that's neat! We really should have appreciated Vizcaino more (the first time), so here's our chance. I'll bet he's a wee little shortstop and ... nope, it looks like he ate his father and then did pull-ups for six years straight. He is not a little shortstop. Well.

Vizcaino was a Dodgers draftee out of high school, so hopefully he hits 250 homers and makes Dodgers fans sad on multiple levels. There isn't such a thing as a seventh-round nepotism pick, so, no, the Giants got him for his abilities, which are not a secret.

Maybe he can talk to this guy, get some tips:

Great seeing El Montro #mlb #Angels @PujolsFive @MLB pic.twitter.com/xApaQLuPpL

— Jose Vizcaino Jr. (@VizcainoJr) May 31, 2015

The guy on the left. Get tips from the guy on the left. NOT THE FAR LEFT. THE LEFT CLOSEST TO YOU. I MEAN, THE GUY WEARING RED. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE CORRECTION.

Everyone welcome Jose Vizcaino, Jr.! This is a great pick, and there's no way this can go ...

"I bleed Dodger blue, but no matter what team would draft me, I’d like to play," Vizcaino Jr. said. "Even if I don’t play, I want to be around Major League Baseball the rest of my life."

dammit

Most unlikely to fall to the third-round

This award goes to Jalen Miller, a highly rated shortstop prospect from Georgia who didn't end up on the Braves, somehow. Miller was a consensus top-50 pick according to the pre-draft prognosticators, and in some eyes a borderline first-rounder. Put another way: He was ranked more highly than Joe Panik and Christian Arroyo coming into the draft.

Forget the first part of this tweet, and bask in the glory:

Was not a fan of the #SFGiants first two selections, but Miller is great value in the third. Average to above-average tools across board.

— Chris Crawford (@CrawfordChrisV) June 9, 2015

Most likely to end up on SportsCenter

That would be Ronnie Jebavy, who has already appeared twice because of highlight-reel catches.

I can't find the other one, but this reputable news source is proof enough. Apparently, the guy can play a mean center field.

"It's huge nationally to get it out," MTSU coach Jim McGuire said about the attention the 6-foot-2 Jebavy has brought his program in the last week. "I don't know, in that time frame, if it's ever happened before. They've been great plays and very deserving of being on there, but it's been a huge, huge deal for our program."

Also:

@mccoveychron How did you not use this picture for Jebavy pic.twitter.com/DPRlnKykHS

— Dave (@gggiants) June 9, 2015

Because I didn't own the rights to that picture, so I needed some dingus to upload it to Twitter so they would be the one who would get into trouble. Played you like a fiddle.

Most likely to make you murder someone because stupid name jokes

Oh, Steven Duggar. Your road is long and hard, but you have allies in this corner. We've lived through the days of Panik puns and learned so much. You will make it through this news cycle.

So let's just skip the stupid jokes and start calling him Hacksaw Steve Duggar.

Works for me.

Most likely pick to make the Giants look smart in two years

Mac Marshall was a highly regarded high school prospect last year, and he backed away from an LSU commitment because he wanted to go pro as quickly as possible. The Giants not only get an advanced left-handed arm, but they get one at a young age who probably isn't interested in hosing them with outlandish, leverage-backed demands.

He wins this award because of his changeup.

Goodness, I'm a sucker for a good changeup. The curve in that GIF isn't too shabby for a teenager, either.

Of all the picks of the second day, this is my favorite. Good giantsing, Giants.