Watch this short documentary on Crazy Crab

Bless you, Colin Hanks. Bless you, good sir.

This was made for you. You, the person reading this right now. It was made for you if you remember just how awful and cold and awful everything was back in the '70s and early '80s. It was made for you if you're a teenager who has no idea what the Giants were like before they had the best ballpark in the world. It was certainly made for me on, like, 30 different levels. Which is probably where the 30-for-30 name comes from.

I don't want to spoil anything, so please watch the video first. (It should be embedded up there, but if you're on Netscape or something, here's the link.) Here are some of my favorite parts of this superlative documentary on Crazy Crab.

• Raw audition footage
  

  

  
  
  
• "Actually, as a mime, I had a lot of groupies."
  
  
• The actor who played Crazy Crab was in Scarface
  
  
• Duane Kuiper thought that Youppi was trash
  
  
• No, seriously, the Giants' slogan back then was "HANG IN THERE"
  
  
• "And the Crab is gyrating happily ... nitwit, googly eyes" -- Ray Ratto
  
  
• "Five feet ... and the wiener was hitting the target." -- Duane Kuiper
  
  
• "From 25 ... that wiener's not going to make it." -- Also Duane Kuiper
  
  
• People threw urine-filled balloons at Crazy Crab
  
  
• The Crab was described as Kafka-esque, and it made everything so clear 
  
  
• The documentary needed some additional fact-checking, though
  

  

  
  Dunno. Seems hard to believe.

Here are your roots, Giants fans. It wasn't always bricks and splash hits. There was fog and urine-filled balloons, too. And there was one craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy crab.