Giants lose, 1-0, after stellar Lincecum start

Live by the 1-0 game in Petco, die by the 1-0 game in Petco. Decompose by the 1-0 game in Petco. Molder and crumble away by the 1-0 game in Petco. Reconsider your life's choices by the 1-0 game in Petco. Linger in eternity, caught between a life of purity and wickedness, forever between by the 1-0 game in Petco.

It's a lot easier to say you've traded for a bunch of home run hitters and make Mission: Impossible masks for David Eckstein and Archi Cianfrocco than it is to actually acquire the home run hitters. So I applaud the Padres for their novel strategy. Well played, everyone. It turns out this Padres/Giants rivalry is just like the last one.

The Giants lost, 1-0, and we're supposed to think about what just happened. Brown-and-yellow dark arts, that's what. The only run of the game is probably a good place to start. Jeremy Affeldt walked a runner (bad) and gave up a booming double (worse) that Gregor Blanco couldn't pick up cleanly (aw, c'mon) before he rifled it to Joe Panik, who sent the relay six feet up the line (awful), which made Hector Sanchez attempt a swipe tag too early and almost break his wrist (ugly). Who's to blame? Oooh, this is like a logic puzzle.

Are you ready for the answer? Here you go, here's who to blame for that play:

The lineup for not scoring a damned run

Trick question! Yeah, it was uncharacteristically awful of Affeldt to allow a walk. Panik made a dreadful throw. Was Sanchez out of position? I don't know. I'll guess that he probably was. He plays catcher like I play mandolin. I get the basic concept, and I'm okay at it, but boy, are there a lot of players better than me. Still, I'm not blaming any of them.

Norichika Aoki had two hits. Joe Panik had one. Angel Pagan had two walks. Buster Posey had two hits and a walk. Those are the first four hitters in the lineup. Put two or three of them together in the same inning, without any pickoffuckery, and you have an exciting inning. Instead, the sequencing was off. Baseball will do that.

The takeaway is that all 1-0 games are dumb and absurd and beautiful and ugly, depending on which side you're on. This was the dumb, absurd, and ugly side. Happens. Hopefully not too much. At least the series is over tomor...

aw crap

★★★

Do you feel comfortable evaluating that Tim Lincecum outing? If so, I envy you. The box score is clean. There were swings, and there were misses. He didn't walk the bases loaded. He didn't give up a monumental dinger on an 0-2 pitch. And yet, I can't trust it.

The obvious reason is that, good gravy, there was an inning in which Lincecum threw 85-mph fastballs. He was sucked into the gravity of planet Zito, along with pleasing guitar jams and other curiosities. The fastball didn't touch 90 once, by my count, and the command wasn't exactly pinpoint. There were 0-2 pitches that missed badly. Sanchez's glove was moving all over the place. There were hangers.

And yet, he pitched well. Well enough for me to want this to mean something, like the dadspiration of the offseason was exactly what Lincecum needed. It was the Padres, yuk yuk, but I'm not going to pretend that means something, not when the lineup is almost completely turned over. On the surface, it looked like Lincecum was preventing runs because he was better than the Padres hitters.

After three years of wondering if every pitch/run/error/sneeze of Lincecum meant something in the BIG PICTURE, it's almost refreshing to throw my hands up and say "Dunno," which is the only possible response here. There were red flags. There were welcome flags! There were flags that described how you are feeling at this very second.

Maybe Lincecum really is a reliable, back-o'-the-rotation pitcher now. Boy, I hope so. He has a 0.00 ERA, you know.

★★★

Reminder that Casey McGehee hit into more double plays last season than almost anyone else in baseball history.

More than A.J. Pierzynski in 2003. More than Aaron Rowand ever. More than that guy you're thinking of now. More than all of them. That's what happens when there's a combination of contact, slow, and runners getting on in front a player.

McGehee isn't the sole reason the Giants lost. Goodness, no. Buster Posey also hit into a double play on Friday. Unless you want to have words with Posey, back the heck up. Don't blame one player.

Just watch him. Eye him suspiciously. Because through three games, he looks sketchy, both in the field and at the plate. He did hit an insurance dinger against the Diamondbacks, but it came on an 0-2 count. I'm going to ignore that 0-2 homer because it's inconvenient.

We have months to grumble about him. Months. Until then, I'll go on record as saying I'm skeptical. The early returns are in, and they aren't flattering. Maybe the next week will be better.

★★★

Brandon Crawford did this tonight. I cannot show you moving pictures on this website or else I will go to jail. If you want baseball highlights, please seek out the authorized distributors.

If you're ever wondering why Crawford can't win a Gold Glove, well, this also happened tonight. That's your answer. Still, Crawford has been goofy this first week, doing everything he's expected to do, and more things he's not expected to do. He's not much of a #5 hitter, but he can sure shortstop the heck out of the place.