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The best of Giants Photo Day

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The new Photo Days are here! The new Photo Days are here!

Pretty good smolder going on here.
Pretty good smolder going on here.
Christian Petersen/Getty Images

The Giants had Photo Day last week, and because they are a giving bunch, some of the photos were funny. Because they are also an unpredictable bunch, none of those funny photos were of Hunter Pence. So if you bet on that, you have a real gambling problem and should seek professional help!

Onto the photos!

Jean Machi

Surprise! What's the surprise under that glove? Is it candy? Is it a regular human mouth? Is it a fart?

It's probably a fart.

Juan Gutierrez

You disgust Juan Gutierrez. To Juan Gutierrez, you are the single most vile and repulsive human being who has ever lived. Juan Gutierrez would call you garbage if you were good enough for the dump. If you vanished tomorrow, Juan Gutierrez would shed nary a tear, for the eagle cries not over the plight of mice. To Juan Gutierrez, you are subhuman refuse, unfit for society of any kind, only useful as a warning to children about where their life will lead if they too follow the darkest path, if they too disregard all morality in their lives, if they too come set and deliver the ball without taking at least like four goddamn minutes.

Jake Peavy

Jake Peavy will devour you and eat your soul. Don't you look at Jake Peavy. Jake Peavy will tell you when you are allowed to look at Jake Peavy, and (SPOILER ALERT) that'll be never.

Buster Posey

"Yes sir, I did impregnate your wife. And when that boy grows up, and everyone thinks he's yours, you'll thank me. Don't bother denying it; we both know it's true."

Brett Bochy

Couldn't you see Brett Bochy in a movie, talking with a bad fake Russian accent and failing to beat up Bruce Willis? Or maybe he gets into a gunfight with Jason Statham, and then Statham shoots him, and then Bochy falls down an elevator shaft. What if he's a goon for someone and he tries to kill Magneto (Michael Fassbender) who picks up a car and then older Magneto (Ian McKellen) also picks up a car and then he gets smashed between the two cars? He could also be a hapless bank robber who Loki manipulates into being a fall guy, or he could be the first guy Liam Neeson beats up to prove that you shouldn't mess with Liam Neeson or he could be the bad guy who the main bad guy (Jean-Claude Van Damme) kills to prove that the main bad guy is SUCH a bad guy he'll even kill other bad guys.

The possibilities in Hollywood for Brett Bochy are endless, as long as by "endless" you mean "he could be killed in any number of ways by any number of stars."