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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 3/20

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In dumps, no one can hear you link

There are only like three Uggla Giants pictures. This is as good as any.
There are only like three Uggla Giants pictures. This is as good as any.
Lance Iversen-USA TODAY Sports

Hey, it's been a while since I linked some stuff. I should link some stuff, so it won't have been a while.

What does Uggla get for 11 at-bats by the Bay? Why, a ring, of course
YEAHHHHH DAN UGGLA NEWS. If this site was built for one thing – one thing other than subliminally inserting "Listen to Dio" in your subconscious, of course – it was to give you updates on Dan Uggla. And so here I am, updating you on Dan Uggla. He's in camp with the Nationals now, but he's getting that World Series ring, and he'll be happy to have it. And it turns out that his poor performance last year, in addition to possibly being related to an undiagnosed concussion, could also have been caused by eye problems that didn't let him see the ball when it was moving at high speeds, which baseballs, as it turns out, often do.

Throughout the article, Uggla comes off like a nice, gracious man who in no way deserves to be made fun of in a mean-spirited or gratuitous way. Sadly for him, this is the Internet, and we have nothing else to contribute. Tough break, millionaire who plays sports for a living. Tough break.

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MLB hopes to add excitement on season's final day with simultaneous starts
If you remember the playoff picture last year, and I can't imagine why a Giants fan would remember that, you'll recall that the NL Central came down to the last game of the year. The Pirates played at 10 AM Pacific time, and the Cardinals, leading the division by one game, played at 1 PM, with Adam Wainwright scheduled to start. The Pirates lost their game, and so the Cardinals scratched Wainwright so he could pitch Game 1 of the Division Series. The Cardinals game was then somewhat crappier than it should have been. MLB's solution this year: on the final day of the season, start every game at the same time.

The problem this solves is not a large or especially important one, but this seems like a decent solution, and since it's on a Sunday, not a lot of people will miss work or anything, so there really isn't much downside. Therefore, I eagerly await the inevitable complaints about it. Don't let me down!

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My Experience With Andres Torres
Andres Torres is the greatest human being in the history of the planet.

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The Vice Sports Guide to the 41st Tournament of Mountains
This is insane, bizarre, and brilliant. It might well be my favorite thing I've ever read on the Internet.