It is Thursday night as I write this, and I would just like to say that in the morning when this is posted, I earnestly hope that we have all come together to make a better world where everyone stopped talking about that goddamn dress.
Baseball gear sales suggest a westward tilt
You know what's a really fun thing to do as a Giants fan? Whine about how nobody cares about us. This team just WINS, man, with a bunch of WINNERS, but we're always getting OVERLOOKED because there's a CONSPIRACY to keep us down. So the fact that the Giants have the top-selling jersey (Bumgarner) and one more in the top 5 (Posey) isn't very helpful in maintaining that persecution complex. How can we work around that to maintain a the-world-hates-us attitude? Well, we can still hold onto every slight from ESPN, and it's a good thing. If we had to acknowledge that the Giants were an incredibly successful team with multiple popular players, one of whom just won a vote of some kind, I don't know what would even happen to this fanbase. God willing, we'll never have to find out.
Giants great Kent has connection with third-base prospect
Come with me, if you will, on a voyage that will take us through time. Our destination: 2010, when Cal's baseball team was in danger of being cut, and it was only through the generosity of donors that it was able to survive. One of those donors was ex-Giant Jeff Kent, and it turns out that one of the Cal players was current Giants prospect Mitch Delfino. Did they forge a lifelong bond (MENTOR-MENTEE BOND GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER) that will be rekindled in spring training and last for their entire lifetimes? Probably. That's probably how that works.
No Surprises in the San Francisco Giants Outfield
I had no idea I was so defensive about Hunter Pence until I read this article. It's a preview of the Giants outfield this year for fantasy purposes, and it's pretty fair, but man, I really don't want to read that Pence is likely to decline this year. It really makes me want to tweet at the author DON'T YOU KNOW HUNTER PENCE'S SPECIES HAS ITS OWN AGING CURVE every day this season. That would be a good, original, funny idea, right? Yeah, I thought so.
Don't tweet lineup suggestions to Ausmus
In this article, Brad Ausmus basically guarantees he'll start a Twitter feud with Taylor Swift. I think this is fantastic news, because I bet she can write a hell of a song about optimizing bullpen usage.
Barry Bonds Accused of Using 'Steriods' by Instagram Commenter
The Internet can be a cruel, cruel place. I'm sure Barry can use a hug. We're all here for you, Barry.