Dodgers do not win World Series for 27th consecutive season

The Los Angeles Dodgers, for the 27th consecutive season, will not win the World Series. Sources close to the organization have confirmed that the Dodgers have lost a postseason series again, ending their season.

"I ... I just don't understand it. Every year. Every damned year. We have all this talent, and then ... nothing. It might be me, maybe they're right. I might be the problem," Don Mattingly might have said after the game, we're not sure. "You think it can't hurt more, and then it does. It really, really does."

The Dodgers entered the season as one of the favorites to win 11 out of 19 possible postseason games, but they could not, dropping three out of their first five, again.

According to Baseball-Reference.com, Clayton Kershaw pitched extremely well in the series, but he still hasn't pitched in a World Series. Technically, he's allowed one fewer run in the World Series than Madison Bumgarner, so there are still positives to sort through.

"Hey, I gotta tell you, this team doesn't have the heart or the fire like the Dodgers I remember, you know, the guys from when men were men, I gotta say, these guys need to spend some time with Steve Yeager and Burt Hooton, real players, maybe they'll pick up what they need to, I don't know, get the hell away from me, get that microphone away from me," Tommy Lasorda might have said, I mean it's just a guess. "Rick Monday oughta bite some of these kids, maybe infect them with whatever the hell he had, now get away, go on, I'm serious."

Sources close to Lasorda confirm that he is really, really sad.

Here are some of the Dodgers who did not win the World Series in 2015:

• Yasmani Grandal
• Adrian Gonzalez
• Zack Greinke
• Justin Turner
• Andre Ethier
• Chase Utley
• Joc Pederson
• Andre Ethier
• Chase Utley

According to people close to the organization, this is what John Madden Football looked like the last time the Dodgers won the World Series:

Mat Latos could have had a World Series ring, even though his 6.66 ERA with the Dodgers (no, seriously) got him released before the postseason. The Dodgers don't have to worry about that, though. Considering that they have been eliminated.

Congratulations to literally anybody else.