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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 9/9

Over the hills the frequency is breaking down, don't wanna link but I think it's time we dumped around

That intensity must mean that literally anything just happened, or didn't, or he had a thought
That intensity must mean that literally anything just happened, or didn't, or he had a thought
Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Congratulations to the Richmond Flying Squirrels for moving on to the Eastern League finals. Let's all hope they beat their ancient, hated rivals, Whoever The Other Team Is.

New Giants pitcher Jake Peavy not lacking for passion
What is Jake Peavy yelling about? Not only does this article not say, but it deepens the mystery. Teammates swear that Peavy's barely even saying intelligible words when he screams on the mound, but they can tell he's not swearing. Something doesn't add up here. This goes deeper than we ever imagined, though that's really because we all have better things to do than imagine what Jake Peavy is yelling on the mound. We do have standards.

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The 30: Six P’s, One Giant Surge
Jonah Keri does his weekly power rankings over at Grantland, and talks about the players who have powered the Giants on their hot streak, all of whom have at least one name that start with P. It would be all of their last names, but Sablo Pandoval, despite being a delightful spoonerism, is not actually his name. It's pretty disrespectful of Pablo, if we're being honest, to not follow suit with the rest of the team. No wonder they were so reluctant to extend him earlier this year. He's clearly not a team player.

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The Real Problem with Baseball’s Defensive Stats
Jeff Passan had an article yesterday about how his problem with WAR (Absolutely nothing! Wait, damn) is that the defensive numbers it uses are so unreliable. So in a response from Baseball-Reference, the mysterious "admin" lays out exactly why that is. It turns out that defensive WAR numbers actually come from nerds who hate watching baseball staring at spreadsheets. They're not in their mothers' basements though. That would be a cliche.

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Olive Garden announces most fiendish plot yet to bury you in pasta
do you think anyone has made a brandon belt joke on this topic yet i bet they haven't gosh i hope i can be the first to do so because when it comes to jokes my motto is do it first and do it best and be wholly original one fact about brandon belt is that he enjoys eating meals at the olive garden and this is a story about the olive garden so there would seem to be a natural fit maybe not to normals like you but as a professional link dumper i assure you it's there

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This Dodger Play
If you were on Twitter last night, it's a sure bet you saw this lil' slice of magic from the Dodgers-Padres game. If not, then as long as you ignore the result of the game, which involved the Padres carrying on the NL West tradition of being utterly useless against the Dodgers this year, this is a magnificent piece of schadenfreude. It's not quite AJ Pierzynski being punched in the face, but it's on par with two Dodgers being thrown out at home on the same play. Truly a fine, fine work.

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'DuckTales' opening remade with real ducks
This video will restore your faith in the Internet liking 20-year-old children's cartoons and also animals, though I dunno why anyone would lose faith in that. What were you thinking, hypothetical person? What were you thinking?