Last night on Twitter, I blew the cover off what will no doubt be the biggest scandal in Giants history. Finally, I feel like a veritable news agency.
Giants' Joe Panik's quick rise from prospect to rising star
Since yesterday was apparently Write About Joe Panik Day – Grant did it, Fangraphs did it, and now here's Pavs's article – I figured I'd pretend that I already knew that by linking to the things that other people wrote. Ha ha, I sure am important enough for people to tell me these things. Yes, sir.
Sources: Diamondbacks fire GM Kevin Towers
Is this a good thing for baseball? Of course. Towers belongs to a generation of baseball men whose influence on the game is rightly waning. The new guard frowns upon throwing at people solely to make yourself feel more manly, and Kevin Towers has no business in that world. But is it a good thing for the Giants? Considering Towers's habit of trading talent for much less talent, probably not. Guess it's time to abandon my rosterbation of Paul Goldschmidt to the Twins for six Trevor Plouffes. RIP, beautiful dream. We had some good times.
My experience with Phiten gear
Gabe Kapler talks about what it was like to wear a Phiten necklace. How soon did he feel the energy coursing through his veins? At what point did the bat feel lighter and the ball look bigger, as if he was swinging a golf club at a grapefruit? Or was his Phiten advantage countermanded by the pitcher's similar necklace, both refusing to work their magic because they were made from the same Phiten feather? Avada Phitendra, the pitcher yells. Phiteniarmus, cries the hitter.
This is all detailed in the article, of course.
The Month That Was: Panik's Push, The Return of #MVPosey, Vogelsong Backs Up Words, Pence Sees The Sign and Much More
August! You might remember it from such titles as Maybe God Isn't Smiting Me For Being a Giants Fan and Cautious Optimism 4: Extra Cautious. So let's reminisce about Yusmeiro Petit's record, Buster Posey's fantastic month, and that time Ryan Vogelsong didn't even try to hide how pissed he was when Bochy pulled him in the sixth. Overall, it was a pretty good month, though that in no way affected the mindset of heroic Giants fans whose continuing pessimism was surely the driving force behind the team being four games over .500. Way to go, guys. You did it!
The last chance circuit: 9 Major Leaguers you'd be surprised are playing in Independent Leagues
It's always fun to see ex-titular sensation Boof Bonser, but don't sleep on Bill Hall. I can't even understand why he's in the indie leagues. His last year in the majors, he had an OPS+ of 188 for a playoff team, and yet for some reason, front offices all over baseball are just ignoring him! Since I have no other information, I'll assume there is no other information, and everyone in baseball is stupid.
Barry Bonds vs Deion Sanders
Back in 1992, Foot Locker sponsored a slam dunk contest, and the opening round featured a contest between future Giants Barry Bonds and future Giant whose baseball career we all kinda forget about except when Grant posts an anecdote about heckling him Deion Sanders. Do you think when they were on the same team, they ever got together so Barry could remind Deion how Barry actually made a dunk and was objectively better at everything? Probably.
Barry Bonds joined Twitter recently, by the way. Do you think he'll ever tweet at Deion Sanders to remind Deion how he's objectively better at everything? Probably. Probably.