Giants officially win National League wild card spot

In front of 35 people at Great American Ballpark on Thursday, the Milwaukee Brewers lost their game against the Cincinnati Reds, which means the Giants have clinched one of the two wild card spots in the National League.

Wheeeeee?

It beats the alternatives, certainly. There will be 20 teams -- 20! -- that wish they could be this confused. The Giants are in the middle of a slumpy, injury-riddled stretch of pain, and yet they still backed into the playoffs. Since August 20, the Brewers have gone 10-22. All they had to do was be sorta bad. If they were just sorta bad, the Giants would have been screwed. Instead, they were a clogged toilet full of apocalypse, and the Giants are in the playoffs.

The Giants are in the playoffs. Kind of. As I wrote last night, I predicted the Giants to win the wild card, so this shouldn't be a disappointment. This should be a cause for celebration! There was a lot more that could have gone wrong with the 2014 season, and the Giants still have a chance to troll the danged world.

The Giants still have a chance to troll the danged world.

There's still some uncertainty with the Pirates, as the Giants can still host the NL Wild Card Game if the Pirates lose two or three games against the Braves and Reds, and if the Giants win three or four games against the Padres. While it's obviously preferable to have the game in front of a manic home crowd, the important part has already been decided. The Giants are in the playoffs.

I don't think you get to spray champagne on this one, but you at least get to shake a bottle of chardonnay and pretend it explodes when you pop the cork.

I'll take it.