San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 9/25

"HEY HERE'S A BUNCH OF PICTURES OF YASIEL PUIG BEING HAPPY"
-The dumb SB Nation photo tool, which is now my mortal enemy

How Often Is a Home Run Caught by a Fan?
Just going by my own personal experience, never. Literally never. If I am at all representative, and I believe I am, baseballs are never hit to or near fans.

However, occasionally on television, they show home runs or foul balls that do get caught by fans. Assuming that these shots are not CGI trickery (which we know the broadcasts engage in – how else can you explain Hunter Pence's face?), what are the odds that a fan catches a home run ball? And why is that fan never, ever me? These are the important questions of our generation.

A guide to possible 'Survivor' outcomes for John Rocker
John Rocker is on Survivor this year, and his debut episode aired last night. I don't actually know what happened because I was watching some crappy baseball game and also Survivor seems to be exclusively watched by the silent majority of people who don't talk about TV on the Internet. But as we know that there's no way Rocker actually wins, how will he get voted off? I'm disappointed that "Wins an immunity idol, then immediately throws it at a monkey, thinking it's a minority" wasn't listed as an option, but it's probably too obvious a choice.

Brandon Moss on the Anatomy of a Slump
There are several key takeaways from this article. First, Adam Dunn is hilarious. Second, Brandon Moss barely even bothers to disguise his contempt for Ruben Amaro and the Phillies front office, which is always good for a chuckle. But third, and most importantly, the ways that Moss researches and adjusts and deals with his mechanics are fascinating. There really is a lot of thought that goes into being a major league hitter, but don't let that stop you from calling hitters idiots when they fail at something. It is your God-given right as an American sports fan to insult the players on your favorite team, and never let anyone tell you differently.

Best Baseball Player Idiosyncrasies, 2014 Edition
Guilder Rodriguez, despite being both an excellent story and a fine Princess Bride reference, is not really an idiosyncrasy. And since I already have a joke about Hunter Pence's face in this link dump, I probably shouldn't throw in another one here. Instead, why not include Jake Peavy's constant outer monologue? He spends the whole game yelling and screaming, but he never swears! Because when you're continually openly furious about something in public, you need to set a good example. You know, for kids!

Inside the Delightful World of Skateboarding Bulldogs
I never even knew skateboarding bulldogs were a thing! I really should have been on top of this topic from day 1, and I feel like I let you guys down. I'm sorry. I'll never let it happen again.

Some guy made a metal song using his own farts as the vocals
This. This is the high-quality #content you've come to expect from the URLgenio Velez.