San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 9/24

You've all already talked enough about the Baggs thing, right? You don't need me to do it? Good.

Giants broadcaster Duane Kuiper calls on experience
The Sacramento Bee profiles Kuip, and he's exactly as charming and fun as always. Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, "Are you going to link to every profile of Kruk and Kuip that you ever find on these here Internets?" And the answer is yes. Of course I am. What a ridiculous question. I can't believe it even crossed your mind.

Will StatCast Cure Our Defensive Metric Blues?
Defensive statistics are still a work in progress, in large part because accurately measuring defense necessitates having values for things that aren't usually measured, like positioning, or ball speed off the bat. And without any knowledge of those factors, it's tough to say with confidence the skill level of a defensive player, which makes it hard to evaluate players overall. The good news on that is that you can then wrap yourself in a blanket of stats of your choosing, and prove anything you want. "No, really, Matt Kemp isn't very good," you might say, trying to feel less terrible about that home run he hit yesterday. "Defensive stats prove it. I should feel lucky the Dodgers are playing him. They'd be better with Van Slyke."

This never actually works, fyi.

Imagine Yusmeiro Petit with Velocity?
I will not spell it "Imagen". You can't make me.

Petit's success this year has been pretty shocking. Even last year, when he was so close to that perfect game, I was thinking he'd be a Philip Humber, who had one shining moment and then disappeared into obscurity. But instead, here he is, with phenomenal K/9 and BB/9 rates, setting records for consecutive batters retired despite his horrific chinstrap beard. He's really overcome a lot of beard-related adversity, which is in no way mitigated by its being self-imposed.

The Pirates’ Sabermetrics Road Show
The Pirates just clinched their playoff spot, and congratulations to them. I wish them the best, except for when they play the Giants in less than a week, which is when I hope their entire pitching staff comes down with a case of the jonathansanchitis. It's a brutal disease, though Mets fans are, of course, partial to oliverperosis.

What’s the Death With Mercy Rule, Kirk Cameron’s Movie With Bas Rutten?
Kirk Cameron is starring in a new Christian-themed baseball movie, and not one of you told me. You should be ashamed of yourselves.