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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 9/22

New York I link you but you're letting me dump

Good job, Chris! That's it. That was the highlight. Only that.
Good job, Chris! That's it. That was the highlight. Only that.
Denis Poroy

I never liked sports anyway.

Baseball's Science Experiment
Across baseball, run scoring has been dropping for a few years now, so in their desperation to get an offensive edge, teams are into the "Throw Pseudoscience At The Wall And Use What Sticks" phase. This is dumb, which is why I am completely in favor of it. In fact, I want more. Much, much more. Horoscopes? They could contain some good information. Get some water to absorb the properties of HGH, and you'll have totally undetectable homeopathic steroids. And what about thetans? A lot of hitters probably are running around with thetans in their heads. Better clear those out! You wouldn't want Xenu to cost you precious ABs.


The Hidden Impact Of Defense On Run Production In The Minors
You know how this season is hopeless and the Giants are the worst team in baseball and there is a black hole of talent that hitches a ride on the Giants' plane and goes on their bus and sneaks into the ballpark and just lies under their dugout, cackling to itself because it's actually an anthropomorphic black hole and I forgot to mention that? Well, maybe future seasons will be better, and if they are, the Giants farm system will probably be a big part of that, so let's learn to do a little better job of evaluating it.


Derek Jeter Opens the Door
Let's not bury the lede here: Derek Jeter finally addresses the gift basket issue. Are his denials convincing? No they are not. And why not? Mostly because I want those rumors to be true. I can't remember the last thing that simultaneously mattered so much and so little to me.

The first smartass to say "What about all of baseball?" gets banned, FYI.


Mike Trout Somehow Touches Adrian Beltre's Head With No Resistance
Well, that's it. That was the last thing that Mike Trout couldn't do. For the last few years, as he's been unfathomably great, we've all looked at him and said "Well, he can do anything on the field, but until he can touch Adrian Beltre's head without Beltre freaking out, he's just a man." Well, those days are over. Mike Trout is going to start winning games he doesn't even play in. He's going to win games in different sports. He's going to go back in time so he can outdrive Alan Shepard on the moon in 1971. You were our last hope, Adrian. Now, all is lost.


Geddy Lee’s baseball obsession makes it really hard for me to hate Rush
The Giants are really bad right now, but you know who's worse? Rush. Always, always Rush.