So how many runs do we all think the Giants are going to score off Kershaw on Sunday? Twelve? You know what, let's be conservative. Probably nine.
Jake Peavy On Keeping Them Guessing
Jake Peavy has been fantastic since joining the Giants, as you presumably noticed, and for a few weeks I've been wondering where the article was that explained it. Sometimes I thought "Hey, I could write it," as if my ability to look at the Pitch F/X section of his Fangraphs page was a novel skill that would lend itself to uncommon insight. Eno Sarris, on the other hand, talked to Peavy and showed heat maps and analyzed mechanics to explain how he's been pitching lately. His article might be informative, but mine would have had references to Beulah, the Quasi-War, and the rich couple from Gilligan's Island, so it's pretty clear you're all missing out.
GreenJackets Player Report: Christian Arroyo
David Lee from the Augusta Chronicle scouts 2013 first round pick Christian Arroyo, and comes away thinking that he profiles best as a utility guy in the majors. Well, buddy, let me tell you a story about someone else who people thought wouldn't go far. He was a scrappy guy, and he would do anything to excel at the highest level there was. He fought and he fought and he picked himself up after numerous defeats, and when he achieved his goal, he kept hold of that job for years.
His name? Richard. Milhous. Nixon. Makes you think, doesn't it?
Dodgers vs. Giants pennant race history
Look, I'm not complaining about Giants-Dodgers pennant races. Pennant races are great, and memorable, and offer the chance for transcendence that makes baseball worth watching. But man, this is stressful. Sometimes I have to remind myself that anxiety is just the price you pay for sports being interesting, and I should be thankful for it, but it can be a challenge sometimes.
I know that paragraph is like complaining that I don't know which mansion Mr. Rockefeller left me in his will, but if it pisses off one Padres/Rockies/Diamondbacks fan who came here today, I'll consider that a job well done.
KISS pays tribute to Derek Jeter, for some reason
Sometimes you take a look at some widely beloved institution and think, "Sure, you're past your prime, but back in the day, you were truly great. Just because it's time for you to bow out doesn't invalidate your past accomplishments any more than your legion of insufferable fans do when they take every opportunity to dress up like you and loudly opine on your greatness until their obstreperous hauteur has caused the admiration that should be in my heart to curdle into fury at your existence."
That just applies to Jeter, by the way. KISS has always fucking sucked.
PHOTOS: Alex Trebek Grows Back Mustache
Of course he did. This summer I finally decided to bite the bullet and get hynotherapy to adjust to his clean-shaven face. Guess that's twelve thousand dollars I'm never getting back.