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Today's game starts at 9, an hour after the link to this article gets tweeted out. I should probably half-ass it and save all my good jokes for tomorrow's link dump. But I won't, because I am so very professional.
Just fire Kirk Gibson already!
Giants fans don't need any more reasons to find the Diamondbacks annoying; playing them almost 20 times every year is plenty of incentive. But for the rest of baseball, seeing what kind of people they are has got to be eye-opening. They are bush league. As long as Kevin Towers and Kirk Gibson are around, they will always be bush league. The reason I say "bush league" is that I feel uncomfortable swearing on the main page, which I'd rather reserve for special occasions. This is not a special occasion, since Towers and Gibson are, pretty much every day, horsesh . . . bush league.
ON WOMEN AND SPORTS
Maybe you've noticed how, on occasion, sports is a toxic wasteland of sexist opinions whose corrosive misogyny ruins everything it touches. If you haven't noticed this, congratulations on being a man. Either way, this is a good article to read.
Empty Yesterday
The Giants weren't the only contending team to do nothing at the trade deadline on Thursday. Here, Joe Posnanski takes a look at what made the inaction of the Royals so dang frustrating. Of course, Giants' fans frustrations weren't about indecision about whether the team was good; instead, we complained that this was a team in a pennant race that desperately needed another piece, and they didn't get it. Was that piece Emilio Bonifacio? Since the Giants didn't get him, definitely!
Professional Courtesy, and How August Works
A couple of years ago, when the Dodgers and Red Sox were making that big Adrian Gonzalez deal, BP took a look at the waiver process and why so many excellent players go unclaimed. It's good to keep in mind in August that just about every player is floated on waivers, and when you hear a report that , for example, Mike Morse went unclaimed, that doesn't mean that the Giants are going to trade him for Willy Taveras and Mike Trout's secret twin brother. But it also doesn't not mean that, so you should probably call into KNBR and share your extremely plausible theory with the world.
Best Last Lines Of Famous Novels
Clickhole is funnier than I ever will be, and I'm not even sad about it.