San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 8/19

The Giants have had three off days in the space of eight days. As much as they can use a break in August, that still seems a bit much.

Michael Morse's swagger returns now that his bat is on fire
Michael Morse was in a terrible slump for the last couple months, and the worst part was . . . well, the worst part was watching him hit and field. But the thing that made it worse than a normal slump was how likable Morse is. There's always some joy in watching the Alex Sanchezes or the Armando Beniti of the world struggle. But Michael Morse is so charming in commercials, dressing up in funny costumes and having subpar knowledge of herpetology. You can't help but want him to do well.

Okay, maybe you can. I don't know you. But I can't, and that's what matters here, because I am writing this article.

I ate 18 tacos at the Fresno Grizzlies' Taco Truck Throwdown. You will probably believe what happened next
I want a job where I can eat 18 tacos. "Sorry, gotta do this for work," I could say to no one in particular, because nobody I know would ever try to stop me from eating lots of tacos. And that's a good thing, because I have no room for taco haters in my life. In conclusion, someone bring me tacos.

Mathenaging: Mike Matheny doubles down on double standards
I don't pay a lot of attention to managers of most other teams; I have enough fun keeping up with Giants fans reasonably demanding Bruce Bochy's decapitation for ever starting Arias. But it sure seems like Mike Matheny is an absolute mess for the Cardinals. I find that delightful, because I've been waiting for years for someone to finally kill the Cardinals Devil Magic, and it looks like it might be an inside job.

How to Antagonize Every Single MLB Fanbase with a Single Sentence
This is good, important work being done, but I can't help but feel a little cheated by the Giants' entry. Dusty just isn't that big of a deal to me. He doesn't live on like Barry Bonds, and he's not immediate like Buster Posey, so the negatives about him emotionally fade away and I just remember a decent guy who couldn't manage a bullpen out of a cardboard dugout. If you want to troll Giants fans, I think there are a lot of better options. "Barry Bonds is not the real home run king" is the obvious choice, along with  "Scott Cousins didn't do anything wrong," "You can tell Matt Cain's always been mediocre from his win totals," and "You look and smell like Tommy Lasorda."

That last one should also work on every person alive on Earth. Further study is needed.

John Lynch said WHAT about Alex Smith???
This praise is nothing compared to the paeans Grant used to write about him tbh