The Giants won a series at home, so why are you wearing pants?
Jedd Gyorko is now the Padres all-time HR leader at 2B ... with 31
In the last two years, Jedd Gyorko (pronounced "Sumner Graham") has hit 31 home runs, which is actually a Padres record for a second baseman. Is there anything more Padres than having such a lame record? I mean, Jeff Kent was a great player, but he still had two different seasons with the Giants where he hit more homers than that. Padres fans must have gotten used to expecting so little from their second baseman, which is something I can't really relate to because OH GOD I HOPE JOE PANIK'S OKAY HIS WRC+ IS ALMOST 100 WITHOUT HIM THE GIANTS ARE DOOMED.
Mamie (Peanut) Johnson, the only female pitcher in the history of the Negro Leagues, watches Mo’ne Davis hurl shutout in opener of Little League World Series
Mo'ne Davis is the coolest, and I'm gonna prove it by writing haikus about her in my LiveJournal. Mamie Johnson is also the coolest, and the picture of her in her Indianapolis Clowns uniform from 1954 is my new favorite thing. If you still aren't a believer in the coolness of Mamie Johnson, then I have this quote for you:
“This girl is the best thing since food,” Mamie Johnson said.
HATERS TO THE LEFT
30 for 30 Shorts: ‘Kid Danny’
And while we're talking about the star pitcher of the Little League World Series, let's hop in the Where Are They Now Jalopy and find out all about Danny Almonte. If you're like me, you vaguely remember him and he had no real impact on your life, but since he was A Big Story back in 2001, you think "Hey, maybe I should catch up with that story." Well, I agree! You should. You're very smart and funny and good-looking. Way to go, you.
Corey Kluber has rain to thank for rise to game's elite
Corey Kluber is apparently a great pitcher now. It's always weird when someone who's been unimpressive for a while is suddenly one of the best players in the league, because you have to readjust your opinion of him. A lot of the time, I'm too lazy to be bothered. "Eh," I think to myself. "I'll just wait. Jayson Werth will be bad again at some point like he was that one year with the Dodgers, and then I can smash the glass and break out the Jayson Werthless taunt. It's gonna be sick!"
The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles
Jon Bois wrote a 40,000 (FORTY THOUSAND) word story about Tim Tebow joining the CFL, and he's much, much funnier than I am, so you should go read it now.