San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 7/8

Happy birthday to John Bowker, whose T-Rex arms were instrumental in bringing Javier Lopez to the Giants. Also, happy birthday to Jaime Garcia. I got him a Being Mentioned Later In This Article.

Sabean on the Giants' trade-deadline approach
Yeah, Kawakami, but Sabean's thought process and view of the minor league system are interesting. He's absolutely right to declare no one is untouchable, and not just because that statement can lead to comments on the Internet that make me feel smarter than someone I've never met.

Technically, he IS right, you know.

Madison Bumgarner wants in on the Home Run Derby
I also want Madison Bumgarner in on the Home Run Derby, so we're in agreement. It makes a lot of sense. Teams are always worrying about participants ruining their swings, and trying to hit nothing but homers for a month after competing. That wouldn't be a problem with a pitcher because no one would care. And since pitchers hitting home runs is the greatest thing in the world, why not bring some of that magic to the Chris Berman Says The Word "Back" For Four Hours Straight Derby?

Cardinals' John Mozeliak rips Jaime Garcia over season-ending surgery decision
It's not that I want executives to be stupid dicks about players being injured, but I do enjoy it when the Cardinals do anything wrong. And while Garcia probably should have told the team he was getting the surgery before going to the media, Mozeliak taking shots at him for having surgery instead of trying to rehab it was the kind of dumb reactionary nonsense you'd expect to see from George Steinbrenner, or, to choose a more current example, George Steinbrenner because he would absolutely come back from the dead just to complain to the media.

Guy Shown Sleeping On ESPN Broadcast During Yankees-Red Sox Game Sues For Defamation
If you were on Twitter yesterday, you probably saw this at least twelve times, but here it is again. My fear is that if the fan wins, it would open up the Giants broadcast to some thorny legal issues. What if a jury finds that a woman in the stands is neither a "gamer" nor a "babe"? What if someone misinterprets Kuiper saying "3 to tie, 4 to go home" and thinks he can't leave the ballpark when the Giants only score twice in the ninth? And let's not even get into the can of worms that is a close win being described as a "laugher".

The Minnesota Twins have a self-serve beer machine
I am not linking this article because there is a self-serve beer machine, even though that is pretty impressive. I'm linking this article because apparently the price of beer in Minneapolis is $6 for a pint. SIX DOLLARS. At AT&T, it would cost $8.50 for a vendor to drink the beer herself and then burp in your face.

Hank the Brewers dog featured in beach towel giveaway
I want every piece of Hank merchandise. Every one. One day, when I have built an empire out of dumping links, they will all be mine.